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Liveblogging the Whites and the Blacks, GOP Edition

Seat Cushion - WonketteWell, Alan Keyes has an answer for you if you're poor and stuck in D.C. and it sucks: Get rich and move to the Maryland and Virginia suburbs! Stop crying! But Mike Huckabee would actually give D.C. a right to vote. He seems to care about this stuff. He should go make out with Dennis Kucinich or something.


* Ron Paul knows National ID cards are ... eh, who knows.

* Duncan Hunter did free legal work for La Raza in the Barrio ... which one, I wonder? Barrio Logan, I guess?

* Duncan will also bring back the Family Doctors, who all fled to Mexico.

* Alan Keyes will not bring back the Family Doctor to the black community until he finds the Family. And this is because two-parent families produce kids who are much more likely to finish school, get good jobs, etc. Totally sane, yet he sounds so crazy.

* Well, this is just about as boring as the other recent debates we haven't live-blogged, isn't it?

* Sam Brownback will help you open a savings account. Too bad you're so deep in debt that you'll never actually save a dime, poor people!

* Tom Tancredo wants you to blame yourself for not being able to afford basic health insurance.

* God he's a fucking idiot.

* "You should be able to get your drugs anyplace it's cheap to get drugs," says Tancredo. Well, that's kind of a problem in the ghetto, isn't it?

* Ha, Keyes calls Bush "Gee Double-You Bush." Freak.

* Mike Huckabee does not want "mental health to be rationed out." Well, that's why we have these debates, Mike.

* Ron Paul is Conspiracy Brother, but he says "jolly well," so he's actually not Conspiracy Brother at all. Plus, he takes a final swat at the Welfare State.

* Hey, Duncan's going to get us "victory" in Iraq. Good luck with that, bro.

* Sam Brownback will drowsily contest Ron Paul's whining.

* Wow, no wonder Tancredo is such a douche. His first trip abroad was to Sudan.

* Why are these people clapping for anything? Nothing any of these dorks said is worth more than a golf clap.

* Alan Keyes is appalled. He will help everyone in the world! America is the magic snow globe. He is a nut! Military Order!

* Ray Suarez wants Ron Paul to explain the Death Penalty, of concern to Latinos and Blacks. (AH HAH, Ray Suarez is Latino.)

* Well, nice work, Ron Paul. He said he actually changed his view on the death penalty, because blacks and other minorities are unfairly victims to government execution.

* Tom Tancredo is going to say something stupid ... oh yes, here we go, he wants to kill people for "treason."

* Duncan Hunter likes to kill people, too. Of course, he thinks "Charles Manson" is going to "pull the trigger" on people. Did Charles Manson ever kill anyone? No, as any halfwit knows.

* Alan Keyes is mentioning the "black folks" again.

* Mike Huckabee killed a bunch of people in Arkansas (via the Death Penalty), but he wants us to know that unlike, say, George Bush Junior, he actually felt bad when he had people executed.

* Good-bye, bitches, Good-Bye. Tavis Smiley wants us all to "keep the faith," but I have no faith, and I've got to get on a plane in a few hours, so that's that. Thanks for playing.

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