Liveblogging Your Next President Donald Trump's CPAC Speech

Liveblogging Your Next President Donald Trump's CPAC Speech

Woah! It is that guy with the money from that Joan Rivers show! Sure, we'll liveblog this.

3:34 PM — Huge cheer. Of course he comes into his teevee show theme song.

3:36 PM — Trump says he will decide on running for president by June. Meanwhile, Dick Cheney walks into the room (!!!), and the room suddenly gets chillier.

3:40 PM — Trump now talking about China. He is mystifying these attendees by knowing names of countries that aren't the U.S.! Foreign policy bona fides!


3:44 PM — Trump says OPEC better lower prices or else.

3:45 PM — Trump shitting on Ron Paul. Paultards boo, everyone else cheers. Haha. Says Paul has no chance. The stool is falling apart!

3:47 PM — "I'm also well acquainted with winning." "I'm pro-life." That's all you need.

3:48 PM — Trump wants to take money from other countries rather than tax people. What?

3:48 PM — And that's it. Again, what?

3:49 PM — Trump has security guards, thankfully. Paultards can't kidnap him and put him in the blimp.

3:53 PM — Trump's plan: "Tax" other countries, but have fair trade. Make OPEC lower prices or bomb them. A pragmatic approach to foreign policy, we guess.

3:53 PM — This woman loved Trump so much she almost made out with the teevee:

Alright, that's it. Rand Paul on now. Cheney(!) will be up soon to introduce Don Rumsfeld.


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