Local Security Guard Defeats Terrorist Ghosts

acid casualty with a repossessed car - WonketteIn civilized countries, crazy people are sent to special crazy-people homes where they receive quality mental-health care. In our nation's capital, crazy people are employed as "security guards" and provided with loaded handguns.

Local rent-a-cop Donald Cardwell is in custody tonight after he stripped naked and began shooting at the ground and then firing at his co-workers while repeatedly yelling "Al Qaeda!" Clearly, the man was inspired by years of terror jabbering by the likes of Rick Santorum and Dick Cheney.

Also, he had purchased and consumed some particularly high-quality PCP, a vial of which the real police found in his pocket.

Also, obviously, he works for the security guard company that provides quality rent-a-cops to DC schools:

Cardwell, who was employed by Hawk 1 Security, has been arraigned on drug and assault charges and has another court date next week. Hawk 1 Security also provides security for DC Public Schools. A call to Hawk 1 for comment was not immediately returned.

Law enforcement sources say Cardwell has been arrested in the past, but was never convicted of a crime.

Naked Security Officer Shoots at Coworkers [My Fox Washington]


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