LOL Kellyanne Conway's Talking To Toasters! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 13, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Trump's budget will be a referendum on the foundations of government and an all-out assault on those filthy poors after he amputates large chunks of state functions in order to dump obscene amounts of cash on the military.
- Now that Obama has fixed the economy, Fed chair Janet Yellen is expected to announce an interest rate hike, but Trump (obviously) skipped reading that memo.
- The Congressional Budget Office will release its book report on Trump/RyanCare later today, and it's expected to detail how expensive the Republican plan to repeal
and replace, repair, whateverthe ACA will be, and lead to killing Medicare and health insurance for millions of people.
- Trump will hold his first cabinet meeting today, but senior positions in Treasury, Commerce, and Health and Human Services remain understaffed because Trump literally doesn't think those jobs are important.
- In her increasingly pathetic attempts to remain relevant, Kellyanne Conway is talking to everyone and everything that might listen, including her microwave, and her teevee, just like a regular crazy.
- John McCain went all MAVERICK on teevee this weekend and asked Trump to prove that Kellyanne Conway's microwave talks to people.
- Rep. Steve King announced his support of the Dutch Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, in a simple 140 character admission of racism as he tries to stick his nose into a contentious election in the Netherlands.
- Money-grubbing hedge funds and banks are betting big that malls will collapse, kind of like the housing market.
- The Winklevoss twins' latest attempt to scam their way into the tech industry was slapped down by the SEC when it ruled against establishing a BitCoin trust that would allow the Internet's magic funny money to be publicly traded on Wall Street.
- Now that the U.K. has decided it has no need for the E.U., Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon announced that Scotland will have another go at that whole independence thing.
- Old Handsome Joe Biden was hanging with hispters at SXSW and gave some thinky-talk time about his mission to shoot cancer at the moon.
- Here's your Late Night Wrap-Up! SNL had a brilliant cold open parody on the Russian invasion, a breakdown of Jeff Sessions's purjury, and a new fragrance for Ivanka; and John Oliver had a lovely 'splainer about Trump/RyanCare.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Doggo-moms and tiger kittens!
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