Remember how only a few days ago Donald Trump was nominating himself for a Nobel Peace Prize because he sent some Mean Girl Tweets about the size of his nuclear "button" at Kim Jong Un, and said he was going to "fire and fury" them to death? And then Trump changed his mind and prematurely ejaculated an agreement for a big denuclearization summit between America and North Korea into existence, which created world peace forever? Remember how this showed everyone the brilliance of the Trump Doctrine, which is to yell on Twitter and never take intelligence briefings and just do the opposite of whatever Barack Obama did, which will obviously solve all the problems in the world?

Welllllllllll, ABOUT THAT.

First, on Wednesday, North Korea decided to postpone its upcoming talks with South Korea, blaming upcoming joint military exercises between the US and South Korea. Also, they said MAYBE they won't meet with Donald Trump after all, if America is going to simply insist they get rid of all their nuclear weapons:

“If the U.S. is trying to drive us into a corner to force our unilateral nuclear abandonment, we will no longer be interested in such dialogue and cannot but reconsider our proceeding to the DPRK-U.S. summit,” said Vice Foreign Minister Kim Kye-gwan in a statement published by the North’s state-run media.

They also added that John Bolton is a piece of shit. (Weird how some sentiments are universal, transcending intractable geopolitical conflict.)

Kim Kye-gwan said North Koreans “do not hide our feeling of repugnance” toward Bolton, and called out his Libya remarks. [More on those here. - Ed.] “It is essentially a manifestation of awfully sinister move to impose on our dignified state the destiny of Libya or Iraq which had been collapsed due to yielding the whole of their countries to big powers,” he said.

Remember what happened to the leaders of Libya and Iraq? We can't imagine Kim Jong Un is looking forward to that sort of eventuality!

But how strange and surprising this all is! We thought Kim Jong Un was now a very "open" and "honorable" guy, according to Donald Trump, and that President Art Of The Deal would get his face carved on Mount Rushmore because he made such a good deal to bring peace to the Korean peninsula! Didn't North Korea just give Trump a big photo op, by releasing three American prisoners to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo?

Oh well, guess things change sometimes, when the president of the United States is an idiot, and when North Korea is the way North Korea always fucking is.

That's right. North Korea does this all the fucking time -- for a full timeline, there's a Washington Post for that -- and anybody who actually thought Trump was going to be able to snap his greasy little orange fingers and get this done by virtue of how he is somehow better at geopolitics than all his predecessors is high on their own dogs' farts. (Know who's surprised? The Trump White House. Refer to what we just said about dog farts. Also surprised? The State Department. Guess life comes at you fast when you hollow out State and fire all the experts.)

To be clear, the talks are not off at this point. There is still a chance the two nutbag leaders will get together in Singapore and charm each other's pants off (maybe literally) and North Korea will give up all its nukes (or pretend to) and Trump will get to declare mission accomplished. But it's also pretty obvious to any rational observer that Trump is DESPERATEOMGDESPERATE for a win here, and so North Korea is moving the goal posts to see what it can get away with. Unfortunately for the security of the world, it can probably get away with a hell of a lot, because the president is real damn stupid.

It's also possible China has been whispering in North Korea's ear and saying they'll be there to back them up against Trump. Consider the timing of what's been going on between the Trump administration and China this week. On Sunday, against the advice of all foreign policy and intel experts, Trump announced that he would bend over backward to help China get its Obamaphone manaufacturer ZTE back in business, even though it's been pretty solidly determined that ZTE phones put America's national security at risk, due to how they can be used for spying. Also, ZTE was in big trouble with Treasury, for violating sanctions on North Korea and Iran.

Perhaps North Korea saw Trump reverse course on his big trade war with China because China told him what to do and figured it was a good time to flex their own muscles, because Jesus Christ, look at this idiot in the White House.

Just a theory.

Regardless, we are very sad as a patriotic American to see just how easy it is for pretty much every one of our adversaries to roll that stupid fucker who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but we are LOLing at him just the same.

Good luck on figuring out your next steps, dumbass! Just hope those next steps don't involve stairs, because we all know how afraid the president is of stairs.

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I'd mentioned this week that there's definitely probably a tape out there of Donald Trump referring to a black person as a "nigger," because Trump is a racist and that's sort of what they do. Sarah Huckabee Sanders won't even affirmatively deny such a tape exists, and she's from the "two plus two equals five" school of communications management. I also speculated that once the tape was released, Republican supporters of the president would flock to defend his vile words: "Hey, if you rearrange the letters in "nigger," you get "ginger" and who doesn't like redheads and the occasional Dark 'n' Stormy?"

The shameful display has already started and the supposed recording isn't even available for pre-order on iTunes. George State Senator Michael Williams stated in appearance on CNN's "New Day Saturday" that if Trump -- who's the president, by the way -- did say "nigger," it would certainly concern him as an "individual" but "not necessarily as a person that is running our country." So, uh, what the hell is that? This has been a standard argument from Republicans ever since Trump crawled his way out of the sewers of birtherism and onto a major political stage: "We think Trump is a terrible human being -- seriously, we have to shower immediately after meeting with him -- but we still think he's a suitable steward of the most powerful nation on the planet."

Normally, you'd think this would work the other way. You know, your brother-in-law is a nice enough guy. Your sister certainly could've done worse. You don't mind the slightly rambling sports-ball discussions with him at family gatherings. He's good for looking after the kids (as long as your sister is present or reachable by cell), but you'd never invest your hard-earned money into whatever half-assed business venture he's trying to get off the ground nor would you back his run for any serious political office.

I've long had issues with the "brilliant asshole" archetype in TV and movies. It's almost always a white male (because women and minorities must be perfect) whose emotional immaturity and overall jerkass behavior we're told to overlook because they're so goshdarned awesome. Do you want some PC "cuck" or do you want Dr. House to figure out that the MS symptoms you're suffering are really just because you ate a stale doughnut? Sherlock Holmes doesn't have time for your feelings or social niceties -- not while he's solving mysteries and being dreamy.

Trump, however, isn't "brilliant." He's just a guy who says "nigger." They're hardly a scarcity in the market. You don't even have to venture out to a klan rally to find one. You can order online -- same day social media delivery.

Williams argues that Trump didn't use the word "nigger" when he was in the "office of the president." It was just some youthful indiscretion when he was almost 60. I don't even know where he's going with this. Does he think Trump has changed? He routinely insults and belittles black people. He also calls black NFL players who peacefully protest "sons of bitches." Was that his way of weaning off calling us "niggers"? Has he been wearing a "nigger" patch on his arm to control his cravings for the racial epithet?

"He used the word in his personal life," Williams said. (It was actually in a workplace context -- SER) "Now if he were president and were to go on TV and use the n-word, I'd have a major problem with that."

It's heartening repulsive to see that Williams draws the line at Trump holding an official "nigger" press conference. I think once we reach that point, Trump will probably also reveal that his buddies on the Supreme Court discovered a typo in the Thirteenth Amendment and black folks' work-life balance will start to really suffer.

"I will always say using the n-word is wrong, and it's bad, and should never be accepted in our society. But just because (Trump) might have done it years ago, not as our president, doesn't mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it," GOP state Sen. Michael Williams, who is white, told CNN's Victor Blackwell on "New Day Saturday."

Blackwell, who is black, had to sit there and listen to this crap from a white elected official who is just 45 years old. You know, the word "nigger" doesn't even appear in the Dred Scott decision, for example, but that's not necessary for reasonable people to understand that it was racist as hell. We all know Trump is racist, but now Republicans can't even repudiate the worst demonstrations of his racial animus. The first black president hasn't even been out of office for two full years and already "nigger" is being redefined. What would once end a campaign in its tracks when Blackwell and I were growing up is now just an "oops, my bad."

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Conservatives want to be oppressed. Or, rather, for everyone to think they are being oppressed and to then give them what they see as the impunity and moral upper hand that comes along with being an oppressed group of people. They want it very, very badly and think it is very unfair that all the people they have oppressed have this privilege and they do not. This morning, Trump took to Twitter to vow to protect them from the worst kind of oppression of all -- imaginary social media censorship!

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