Remember how only a few days ago Donald Trump was nominating himself for a Nobel Peace Prize because he sent some Mean Girl Tweets about the size of his nuclear "button" at Kim Jong Un, and said he was going to "fire and fury" them to death? And then Trump changed his mind and prematurely ejaculated an agreement for a big denuclearization summit between America and North Korea into existence, which created world peace forever? Remember how this showed everyone the brilliance of the Trump Doctrine, which is to yell on Twitter and never take intelligence briefings and just do the opposite of whatever Barack Obama did, which will obviously solve all the problems in the world?

Welllllllllll, ABOUT THAT.

First, on Wednesday, North Korea decided to postpone its upcoming talks with South Korea, blaming upcoming joint military exercises between the US and South Korea. Also, they said MAYBE they won't meet with Donald Trump after all, if America is going to simply insist they get rid of all their nuclear weapons:

“If the U.S. is trying to drive us into a corner to force our unilateral nuclear abandonment, we will no longer be interested in such dialogue and cannot but reconsider our proceeding to the DPRK-U.S. summit,” said Vice Foreign Minister Kim Kye-gwan in a statement published by the North’s state-run media.

They also added that John Bolton is a piece of shit. (Weird how some sentiments are universal, transcending intractable geopolitical conflict.)

Kim Kye-gwan said North Koreans “do not hide our feeling of repugnance” toward Bolton, and called out his Libya remarks. [More on those here. - Ed.] “It is essentially a manifestation of awfully sinister move to impose on our dignified state the destiny of Libya or Iraq which had been collapsed due to yielding the whole of their countries to big powers,” he said.

Remember what happened to the leaders of Libya and Iraq? We can't imagine Kim Jong Un is looking forward to that sort of eventuality!

But how strange and surprising this all is! We thought Kim Jong Un was now a very "open" and "honorable" guy, according to Donald Trump, and that President Art Of The Deal would get his face carved on Mount Rushmore because he made such a good deal to bring peace to the Korean peninsula! Didn't North Korea just give Trump a big photo op, by releasing three American prisoners to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo?

Oh well, guess things change sometimes, when the president of the United States is an idiot, and when North Korea is the way North Korea always fucking is.

That's right. North Korea does this all the fucking time -- for a full timeline, there's a Washington Post for that -- and anybody who actually thought Trump was going to be able to snap his greasy little orange fingers and get this done by virtue of how he is somehow better at geopolitics than all his predecessors is high on their own dogs' farts. (Know who's surprised? The Trump White House. Refer to what we just said about dog farts. Also surprised? The State Department. Guess life comes at you fast when you hollow out State and fire all the experts.)

To be clear, the talks are not off at this point. There is still a chance the two nutbag leaders will get together in Singapore and charm each other's pants off (maybe literally) and North Korea will give up all its nukes (or pretend to) and Trump will get to declare mission accomplished. But it's also pretty obvious to any rational observer that Trump is DESPERATEOMGDESPERATE for a win here, and so North Korea is moving the goal posts to see what it can get away with. Unfortunately for the security of the world, it can probably get away with a hell of a lot, because the president is real damn stupid.

It's also possible China has been whispering in North Korea's ear and saying they'll be there to back them up against Trump. Consider the timing of what's been going on between the Trump administration and China this week. On Sunday, against the advice of all foreign policy and intel experts, Trump announced that he would bend over backward to help China get its Obamaphone manaufacturer ZTE back in business, even though it's been pretty solidly determined that ZTE phones put America's national security at risk, due to how they can be used for spying. Also, ZTE was in big trouble with Treasury, for violating sanctions on North Korea and Iran.

Perhaps North Korea saw Trump reverse course on his big trade war with China because China told him what to do and figured it was a good time to flex their own muscles, because Jesus Christ, look at this idiot in the White House.

Just a theory.

Regardless, we are very sad as a patriotic American to see just how easy it is for pretty much every one of our adversaries to roll that stupid fucker who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but we are LOLing at him just the same.

Good luck on figuring out your next steps, dumbass! Just hope those next steps don't involve stairs, because we all know how afraid the president is of stairs.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.


Martin apparently bought the gun after successfully applying for an Illinois state Firearms ID. That license was revoked after he applied for a concealed carry license and was rejected due to his prior felony conviction in Mississippi, but no one bothered to see if he still had a gun.

Via USA Today:

"During the fingerprinting and background process it was discovered that he had a felony conviction for aggravated assault out of Mississippi," [Police Chief Kristen] Ziman said. "It should be noted that this conviction would not have shown up on a criminal background check conducted for an FOID card."

That seems like it might be a problem, no?

It has also since been revealed that Martin had a domestic battery arrest in 2008 in Aurora.


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