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Look At All Of The Funny Sarah Palin Book Cover Blingees!

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Okay, for the future: you should know that your editor has an English degree, and the only way he will ever use this in life is by quoting semi-famous lines from novels to see if anyone "gets" them, like a douche. "Look at this tangle of thorns." We received zero Lolita-themed Blingees which is too bad, because that person would have automatically won. But back to the horror show: Congratulations to winner Jennifer F., for this awesome mutant thing with its dancing penis banana trimming. You win an "iPhone," Jennifer! It's a telephone, but it can do other stuff too! Runners-up after the jump.


From top to bottom, the half-winners: Michael R., vinniesaltine, Seth R., mayhemily, Courtney F., and rayuvlite. Half-congratulations, guys -- You each win a bucket of herpes from Intern Riley!

(Oh and thank you especially to Editor Juli Weiner, who actually went through the hundreds of submissions and chose the winners -- you know, "did all the work." Blame her!)

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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