Okay, for the future: you should know that your editor has an English degree, and the only way he will ever use this in life is by quoting semi-famous lines from novels to see if anyone "gets" them, like a douche. "Look at this tangle of thorns." We received zero Lolita-themed Blingees which is too bad, because that person would have automatically won. But back to the horror show: Congratulations to winner , for this awesome mutant thing with its dancing penis banana trimming. You win an "iPhone," Jennifer! It's a telephone, but it can do other stuff too! Runners-up after the jump.
From top to bottom, the half-winners: Michael R., vinniesaltine, Seth R., mayhemily, Courtney F., and rayuvlite. Half-congratulations, guys -- You each win a bucket of herpes from Intern Riley!
(Oh and thank you especially to Editor Juli Weiner, who actually went through the hundreds of submissions and chose the winners -- you know, "did all the work." Blame her!)
