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When MSNBC contributor and former federal prosecutor Joyce Vance was interviewed on the Rachel Maddow TV program this week, she reassured us that we would probably know the identity of the deranged mail-bomber soon, because these sorts of investigations are unique in that "bombs have signatures." And it appears she was right, as Cesar Sayoc Jr., a 56-year-old man from Aventura, Florida, has been arrested in connection with the bombings. Also, reportedly, Sayoc left DNA all over his bombs. (WHOOPS.) And we don't want to jump to conclusions or anything, but HAVE YOU SEEN HIS VAN?

Here are some tweets that show pictures of Sayoc's love-mobile:




That is quite a van! Indeed it is the van of literally every crazy Trump MAGA idiot who shows up to a Trump MAGA idiot rally. Zoom in and look at all the sniper targets we mean surveyor's marks! Check out the stickers that almost exactly mirror the things Donald Trump tweets! Also he is into soccer!

Look, we know liberals are bad too, as they literally pry the chicken fingers out of Sarah Huckabee Sanders's cold dead hands and call Ted Cruz a piece of shit in restaurants, but this appears to be the van of a biiiiiiiig Trump supporter who TRIED TO ASSASSINATE TWO FORMER PRESIDENTS AND A BUNCH OF FORMER INTELLIGENCE CHIEFS AND SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN AND ROBERT DE NIRO.

The fact he appears not to have attempted to bomb them very well is just more evidence that he's an average Trump supporter. (Want some weird Twitter accounts to look at that may or may not be Sayoc's? Go here and here.)

As we type this, Donald Trump is speaking to the Young Black Leadership Summit (a group of black folks who for some weird reason don't mind that Trump hates black people) and he addressed this "Bomb stuff" he tweeted about this morning, the "Bomb stuff" that's keeping the media from talking about the midterm elections or his obviously huge hands and regular person dick that doesn't look like a Nintendo character at all. He didn't say he was very sorry for inciting America's worst people to try to assassinate Democrats with bombs. (To Trump's "credit," he did say that political violence is bad. To Trump's "not credit," we don't fucking believe him.)

Here's that tweet from this morning:

Poor president. Literally everything is about him somehow, isn't it?

NBC's Ken Dilanian reports that Sayoc is a registered Republican who has a pretty significant criminal history. Also:

The DOJ will be briefing this afternoon on the arrest, and we guess we'll learn whether the FBI thinks Sayoc acted alone or whether he had help spelling Debbie Wasserman Schultz's name wrong and trying to bomb "John Brenan" at CNN when actually Brennan works at MSNBC.

Regardless, we hope this week of attempted assassinations (ASSASSINATIONS!) is coming to a close with nobody getting hurt, so we can go back to our regular national nightmare, which is Trump's America.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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You guys, hi, hello, it is almost the holiday weekend, so we are going to share you a real video posted last night by "Doctor" Sebastian "Don't Call Me A Nazi" Gorka, that hilarious old knucklecuck. We guess now that he had to give up (or gave up voluntarily!) his Fox News contract, he just makes videos for the Twitter. Hoo ... ray?

Anyway, Gorka is super-excited that Donald Trump issued that order last night, giving Bill Barr all kinds of new powers to expose the Deep State for what it is and PROVE once and for all that the gremlins who live inside Trump's diarrhea are correct when they say Hillary ordered the Deep State to do an illegal witch hunt to Trump, yadda yadda yadda, you've seen these people huff paint before, we don't have to type it all.

Here is the video, after which Wonkette will either transcribe it OR we will provide our own dramatic interpretation. Which one will it be? We don't know! Would you be able to tell the difference between the two? We don't know!

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We want to say right here at the outset that we hate Julian Assange. Aside from the sexual assault allegations against him, and aside from the fact that he's just a generally stinky and loathsome person who reportedly smeared poop on the walls at the Ecuadorian embassy in London, while reportedly not taking care of his cat, an innocent creature, he acted as Russia's handmaiden during the 2016 election, in order to further Russia's campaign to steal it for Donald Trump. All signs point to his campaign being a success!

So we are justifiably happy when bad things happen to Julian Assange. We are happy his name is shit the world over, and that any reputation WikiLeaks used to have for being on the side of freedom and transparency has been stuffed down the toilet where it belongs. We are happy he looked like such a sad-ass loser when the Ecuadorian embassy finally kicked him out and he was arrested.

And quite frankly, we were OK with the initial charge against him recently unsealed in the Eastern District of Virginia. If you'll remember, he was charged with trying to help Chelsea Manning hack a password into the Defense Department, which is not what journalists do. Journalists do not drive the get-away car for sources. Journalists do not hold their sources' hair back while they're stealing classified intel. Assange is essentially accused of doing all that.

Now, put all that aside. Because -- and this is key -- journalists do publish secrets they are provided by sources. That's First Amendment, chapter and verse, American as fucking apple pie and fast-food-induced diabetes. And that is what much of the superseding indictment of Assange unsealed yesterday was about. (And nope, it wasn't about anything regarding Assange's ratfucking the 2016 election or Hillary's emails. Why would the Trump Justice Department prosecute anything about that? It's all about the older Chelsea Manning stuff, the stuff the Obama Justice Department considered charging Assange with, but ultimately declined, because of that little thing called the First Amendment.)

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