Looks Like 'Bomb Stuff' Suspect Is Trump MAGA Idiot Of Our Dreams!
When MSNBC contributor and former federal prosecutor Joyce Vance was interviewed on the Rachel Maddow TV program this week, she reassured us that we would probably know the identity of the deranged mail-bomber soon, because these sorts of investigations are unique in that "bombs have signatures." And it appears she was right, as Cesar Sayoc Jr., a 56-year-old man from Aventura, Florida, has been arrested in connection with the bombings. Also, reportedly, Sayoc left DNA all over his bombs. (WHOOPS.) And we don't want to jump to conclusions or anything, but HAVE YOU SEEN HIS VAN?
Here are some tweets that show pictures of Sayoc's love-mobile:
This van looks like what Steve Bannon would turn into if he was a Transformer https://t.co/09jB3pJi56— EL GLIKO (@EL GLIKO)1540567662.0
@WPLGLocal10 @WPLGLocal10 I have pictures of this van. I saw this van in Hollywood at a stop light o eve and though… https://t.co/ga2SjKvMuH— Mahmud mohamed (@Mahmud mohamed)1540567816.0
My co-producer @DavidCypkin took these pics December 2017 at The Shoppes at the Waterways in Aventura, Florida. The… https://t.co/VQfrUV9Pxw— Billy Corben (@Billy Corben)1540569710.0
That is quite a van! Indeed it is the van of literally every crazy Trump MAGA idiot who shows up to a Trump MAGA idiot rally. Zoom in and look at all the sniper targets we mean surveyor's marks! Check out the stickers that almost exactly mirror the things Donald Trump tweets! Also he is into soccer!
Look, we know liberals are bad too, as they literally pry the chicken fingers out of Sarah Huckabee Sanders's cold dead hands and call Ted Cruz a piece of shit in restaurants, but this appears to be the van of a biiiiiiiig Trump supporter who TRIED TO ASSASSINATE TWO FORMER PRESIDENTS AND A BUNCH OF FORMER INTELLIGENCE CHIEFS AND SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN AND ROBERT DE NIRO.
The fact he appears not to have attempted to bomb them very well is just more evidence that he's an average Trump supporter. (Want some weird Twitter accounts to look at that may or may not be Sayoc's? Go here and here.)
As we type this, Donald Trump is speaking to the Young Black Leadership Summit (a group of black folks who for some weird reason don't mind that Trump hates black people) and he addressed this "Bomb stuff" he tweeted about this morning, the "Bomb stuff" that's keeping the media from talking about the midterm elections or his obviously huge hands and regular person dick that doesn't look like a Nintendo character at all. He didn't say he was very sorry for inciting America's worst people to try to assassinate Democrats with bombs. (To Trump's "credit," he did say that political violence is bad. To Trump's "not credit," we don't fucking believe him.)
Here's that tweet from this morning:
Republicans are doing so well in early voting, and at the polls, and now this “Bomb” stuff happens and the momentum… https://t.co/hBykht1zhk— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump)1540563579.0
Poor president. Literally everything is about him somehow, isn't it?
NBC's Ken Dilanian reports that Sayoc is a registered Republican who has a pretty significant criminal history. Also:
A 2012 bankruptcy filing for Cesar Sayoc includes this handwritten notation: "Lives w/mom, has no furniture."— Ken Dilanian (@Ken Dilanian)1540571710.0
The DOJ will be briefing this afternoon on the arrest, and we guess we'll learn whether the FBI thinks Sayoc acted alone or whether he had help spelling Debbie Wasserman Schultz's name wrong and trying to bomb "John Brenan" at CNN when actually Brennan works at MSNBC.
Regardless, we hope this week of attempted assassinations (ASSASSINATIONS!) is coming to a close with nobody getting hurt, so we can go back to our regular national nightmare, which is Trump's America.
Who's ready to vote on November 6?
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