Looks Like Roy Moore Wanted To Molest An Adult For Once (Sure, Jan, 'Allegedly')

get your hands off that Bible, we don't know where they've been

Roy Moore's lawyer Phillip Jauregui (who is a different person from very stupid Moore lawyer Trenton Garmon, our new favorite person) just concluded a press conference that promised to give us MANY EXCITING NEW DETAILS that would prove Roy Moore is a fine upstanding Christian man whose fingers have never groped little girls. Instead, Jauregui simply tried to cast doubt on Roy Moore's signature in Beverly Young Nelson's high school yearbook. He didn't say Moore didn't try to rape her. He didn't threaten to sue anyone. His message, intended only for the very stupid, was "If Roy Didn't Sign Her Crack, That Bitch Is Whack." He is obviously a very good lawyer.

Now we know why the Moore campaign might have wanted to do that presser at that exact time, because AL.com just dropped the story of the SIXTH Roy Moore accuser. To recap, in the first group of four, there are three who allege generally creepy behavior displayed by Moore toward them when they were young girls. The other, Leigh Corfman, alleges Moore tried to molest her when she was 14. (He calls it "dating." We call it "go to fucking jail.")

Then there was accuser number five, Beverly Young Nelson, whom we mentioned above.

Now meet Tina Johnson. Her story is different from the others, because she was able to legally vote and drink booze when Moore allegedly perved all over her and grabbed her ass in his own law office. Johnson's story is also different because at the time, Moore had already married his scammy asshole wife Kayla.

Johnson was going through a bad divorce, and as AL.com reports, she was signing custody of her 12-year-old son over to her mother for the time being, and her mother had hired Moore to handle it. That's when this alleged world champion sexual predator saw his opportunity, we guess:

Almost from the moment she walked in to Moore's office, Johnson said, Moore began flirting with her.

"He kept commenting on my looks, telling me how pretty I was, how nice I looked," recalled Johnson. "He was saying that my eyes were beautiful." [...]

At one point during the meeting, she said, Moore came around the desk and sat on the front of it, just inches from her. He was so close, she said, she could smell his breath.

Johnson says Moore wouldn't stop asking "about her young daughters, including what color eyes they had and if they were as pretty as she was." It's good to know that even when Moore is perving on an adult, he's still thinking about the children, allegedly. To be fair, mama was probably too old for his tastes.

According to Johnson, when she was leaving Moore's office, he went ahead and grabbed her ass, probably because the Lord said it was OK:

"He didn't pinch it; he grabbed it," said Johnson. She was so surprised she didn't say anything.

What trash.

Of course, Johnson is probably only coming forward because Mitch McConnell hired Gloria Allred to activate the Illuminati to continue its demonic attack on perfect traditional Christian man Roy Moore ... oh wait, it's not that? Tell us, AL.com:

Johnson, who is now disabled, considers herself a devout Christian and regularly attends a church near her home in Gadsden.  She said she is not political and doesn't follow politics. [...]

"This is not a politics thing with me," she said. "It's more of a moral and religious thing."

Fair enough.

There's also a seventh accuser in the article named Kelly Harrison Thorp. She says Moore asked her out when she was a 17-year-old girl working at the Red Lobster and he was in his 30s. No word on whether he called Thorp's mom to ask permission to perv at her daughter, but she says this happened:

"I just kind of said, 'Do you know how old I am?'" she recalled.

"And he said, 'Yeah. I go out with girls your age all the time.'"

Of course he did. He was looking for a child-bride, and it sounds like he wanted to get a bunch of nookie along the way.

Maybe journalists should start a list of women from the Gadsden area Roy Moore hasn't tried to sex-slime. Would make their jobs easier.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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