Looks Like The Philippines Already Elected Their Donald Trump. How's That Workin' Out For Them?
A study in contrasts
So, America, you say you're looking for a candidate who's a man of action, who says what he thinks and doesn't care what people think, and who gets things done? You might just want to look at the Philippines's brilliantly Trumpesque new president Rodrigo Duterte, who seems like an absolute peach of a guy, according to Foreign Policy:
He already told journalists that they aren’t safe from execution, and has launched a massive shoot-to-kill campaign against anyone police suspect of selling or using drugs.Donald Trump isn't so hot on either. But how about his character, the way he gets along with people -- any similarities there? Could be! He's definitely no fan of the U.S. Ambassador to the Philippines, Philip Goldberg:
“As you know, I’m fighting with [U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry’s] ambassador,” Duterte said on Philippine television on Friday, in the local Tagalog language. “His gay ambassador, the son of a whore. He pissed me off.”
Ah, so he's not afraid to hit back when he's attacked, and to hit back hard! We bet that Goldberg guy must have said something really offensive to have gotten such a reaction. What slight to Duterte's honor was Goldberg guilty of? Turns out that Duterte, the former longtime mayor of the city of Davao, on the Philippines's second-largest island of Mindanao, where he got a reputation for being tough on drug crime, had simply expressed regret over the rape and murder of an Australian missionary a couple decades back:
The controversial president’s relationship with Goldberg apparently hit a roadbump when the U.S. envoy condemned Duterte’s suggestion on the campaign trail that he, too, would have liked to rape Jacqueline Hamil, an Australian missionary who was brutally raped and killed in his hometown of Davao in 1989.
“I was angry because she was raped, that’s one thing,” Duterte said in April. “But she was so beautiful, the mayor should have been first. What a waste.”
OK, so maybe not so much regret about the crime itself, but regret that he hadn't gotten a piece of that hottie before she was killed. If she was going to die anyway, why should Duterte have had to missed out? Then the politically correct media -- and the interfering U.S. ambassador -- went and twisted his perfectly normal desire that he could have fucked an attractive rape victim before she was killed into something dirty. Or as Foreign Policy puts it somewhat more delicately,
[A]pparently he saw Goldberg’s criticism of his remarks about Hamil’s death to be an overstep of diplomatic boundaries.
“He meddled during the elections, giving statements here and there,” Duterte during the same television appearance on Friday. “He was not supposed to do that.”
Huh! While we'd like to think Donald Trump wouldn't quite sink to the level of talking about the rape and murder of a really gorgeous missionary in terms of a missed opportunity (though honestly, could anyone really absolutely rule it out?), we have to admit the petulant overreaction seems awfully Trumpian.
Also eerily familiar: Official Washington's reaction to Duterte's comments about Goldberg:
State Department spokesman Elizabeth Trudeau said that the Philippines’s charge d’affaires, Patrick Chuasoto, was summoned to discuss the president’s comments on Monday. “We had that conversation,” Trudeau said. “I think what we were seeking is perhaps a better understanding of why that statement was made.”
Well, yes, that's pretty diplomatic, all right. We sure hope the message got through loud and clear. At the very least, the Philippine government's response sounds like the sort of thing we've heard from the Trump campaign when Donald's been summoned to have a word with the RNC. Foreign affairs spokesman Charles Jose explained that his diplomat was
“invited to the State Department to discuss the entire breadth of Philippines-U.S. relations.”
“Philippine-U.S. relations remain strong,” Jose said.
Everything's fine. Why would you think there's any tension? We're more unified than ever! We're beginning to wonder if President Duterte has a big gold-toned escalator.
Foreign Policy notes that -- also like Donald Trump! -- Duterte isn't afraid of expressing his opinion of anyone who he knows is wrong, even if it ruffles a few feathers:
This isn’t the first time Duterte has gotten away with using the “son of a whore,” at a foreigner. Last time, it was directed at the pope, after his visit to the majority Catholic island nation caused traffic jams.
Yeah, we can see Trump bitching about the Pope screwing up traffic, too. Wonder if Duterte thinks his daughter is hot?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.