North Dakota Republican Declares LITTERBOX EMERGENCY. Don't Laugh At Her, She Is A Child Of God!

State/Local Politics
North Dakota Republican Declares LITTERBOX EMERGENCY. Don't Laugh At Her, She Is A Child Of God!

Meet North Dakota GOP state Rep. Lori VanWinkle, a moron

We think our favorite thing about all these Republican idiots around the country who have worked themselves into a lubricrated froth over hilarious, completely debunked internet rumors that children are going to school and identifying as cats and demanding to use litterboxes is how SURE THEY ARE. They don't even hesitate as they say yes, this is the thing that is happening, I am an adult human person and I know how to Do My Own Research into what is happening. The definition of a "furry" is a child who goes to school and demands to use the litterbox and all the kids at the schools in my state are furries.

It's just science.

Last week, we had North Dakota GOP state Senator Judy Estenson, who didn't want to be hateful, but really felt led by the Lord to proclaim the truth to children who think they are cats. We guess there's something in the fracking oil they drink up there, because they have a bill, HB 1522, to essentially BAN YOU FROM NORTH DAKOTA SCHOOL if you don't identify as a human being. Surprise, the bill is intended to be as abusive toward transgender kids as possible — these are white conservative Christians, after all — but it also specifies that it bans "cater[ing] to a student's perception of being any animal species other than human."

You know what that means? It means litterboxes.

You hear that, all you North Dakota kids who literally don't identify as human beings? Do we need to say this more high-pitched-like so your furry feline ears can hear it?

Bill sponsor and state Rep. Lori VanWinkle explains to NBC News that "Yes we have people who would like to claim themselves as animals such as cats and dogs" in North Dakota schools. Duh, obviously. She is not crazy, you are crazy.

In this video, VanWinkle explains that she also heard about a kid who identifies as a rock, and they don't talk, because they are a rock. She says in North Dakota high schools in 2021, "these kids were dressing up as cats and demanding that litterboxes be the next thing that they would want." She says it's definitely also happening in Minnesota.

She is so sure about this. Lord, the host she's talking to here is a wingnut himself, and even he tries to help VanWinkle understand that she's been taken in by an internet hoax, but she ain't scared, and she's not going to stop fighting against the furries and the litterboxes. You know, the real problems facing schools today.

These people exist among us. Not the child furries, the dumbfucking idiots like this North Dakota rep. God help us.

[h/t JoeMyGod]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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