Lou Dobbs Has a Heart Attack
While the idea of a failed reality show contestant running for office offends and repulses us, we simply cannot deny a good gimmick. And this one, well, if you could fit sex into it, it might work as a grand statement on the 2006 midterm elections as a whole.
Raj Peter Bhakta, who lost on that Donald Trump show, is running for Congress in Pennsylvania. So of course he's filming a campaign ad on the Mexican border. And of course that campaign ad will feature him sneaking three live elephants across the border into the US accompanied by a mariachi band.
Bhaktra is stunned that our border security is so lax, it allows US Citizens to pull large-scale stunts in South Texas.
Border Patrol authorities discredited Bhakta's endeavors since he, the elephants and the musicians didn't actually cross the border illegally. Protocol was followed because the elephants ultimately were quarantined at a checkpoint and dipped for fever ticks, said Edinburg-based spokesman Roy Cervantes.
"To our knowledge there is no problem with bringing three elephants and a mariachi band to a private ranch along the border," Cervantes said.
So yes, please send us this ad ASAP. Though Bhaktra will probably fuck it up by appearing in it and asking people to vote for him or something. We want elephants!