Louie Gohmert is working hard to reclaim the title of Dumbest Republican Congressman from Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert and the WHAR BOXES guy.

Which, look. He should never be worried. One of them says a thing, he can always say a thing about caribou sex. Or how you can cure the coronavirus by getting misted in a tent with Magic German Sprinkle Powder. Or that gays in the military are a bad idea because of all the gay massages gay soldiers gonna give each other.

He's fine. He'll always be the stupidest. Always.


Gohmert was worried about climate change in a hearing of the House Natural Resources Committee yesterday, sort of. At least he knows federal agencies are worried about it. He's not himself concerned about such dangerous myths. But he has an idea that might make everybody happy and solve this question once and for all. Could the federal agencies just bang on the moon a little bit, or maybe change the entire Earth's orbit, to get it away from the solar flares? Maybe if they just grunted real hard and tipped the Earth off its axis? He does not know, he is just askin' science questions, tryin' to solve the problems. He might even lend the government his steel-toed Texas cowboy boots if those are good for kickin' planets off their axises!


"I understand, from what's been testified to the Forest Service and the BLM, you want very much to work on the issue of climate change," Gohmert says in a clip shared by Forbes. "I was informed by the immediate past director of NASA that they found that the moon's orbit is changing slightly and so is the Earth's orbit around the sun. We know there's been significant solar flare activities, and so, is there anything that the National Forest Service or BLM can do to change the course of the moon's orbit or the Earth's orbit around the sun? Obviously that would have profound effects on our climate."

Couple things here. First of all, when he says the "Forest Service and the BLM," you might think Gohmert is saying maybe Black Lives Matter should make itself useful by dropkicking the moon somewhere else, or kicking our actual planet off its actual orbit. He means the Bureau of Land Management. He means he is wondering if the Forest Service or the Bureau of Land Management could make themselves useful by reaching up into the sky and rearranging where the moon is or possibly change the orbit of our planet, potentially hurtling us into outer space and away from the dangerous solar flares Louie Gohmert apparently thinks are why climate change is happening.

Man, that would be dumb if he wanted Black Lives Matter to do that. It makes so much more sense that he's talking about the Bureau of Land Management, which is the appropriate government agency for removing the moon and the earth from their current places in the sky and putting them somewhere different.

The woman to whom he was addressing the question, God bless her entire heart, waited a few before saying, "I would have to follow up with you on that one, Mr. Gohmert!" He replied that "If you figure out a way that you and the Forest Service can make that change" — in the orbits of the moon and our planet — then please let him know.

And with that, Gohmert officially re-snatched the "world's stupidest congressman" hat off the head of Marjorie Taylor Greene, who had just finished explaining to Steve Bannon that she knows coronavirus is a bioweapon because "I don't believe in evolution. I believe in God."

[San Antonio Current]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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