I'm still big. It was my sentence that got smaller.

Hey, if you're sick of stories about cops behaving badly and getting away with it, how about a change of pace? From Louisiana, we have this nauseating story of a district attorney behaving very badly and getting away with it, possibly for decades, but then he got caught! Former St. Charles Parish D.A. Harry Morel pleaded guilty Wednesday to obstructing a federal investigation into his pressuring women into sex in exchange for leniency for themselves or family members. Yes, you may want to take a moment to go vomit. But don't put that bucket away just yet!

"Harry Morel could make things go away, but he wanted sexual acts in exchange," U.S. Attorney Kenneth Polite said. "We suspect that this pattern of conduct has been ongoing for many decades. In fact, we will never know the full extent of it."

One of Morel's alleged victims, 27-year-old Danelle Keim, became a key witness against him. Keim died of a drug overdose in 2013, but investigators said her cooperation with an FBI investigation was instrumental in securing a guilty plea from the 73-year-old, who faces a maximum sentence of three years in prison.

See, told you! Three whole years for interfering with an investigation into his own criming?

Court documents say Morel went to Keim's home following her arrest on DUI charges in March 2010, and engaged in "inappropriate behavior" with her. The filing doesn't specify the nature of that behavior, but does say Morel offered to drop the charges against her. After he left, Keim called 911 to report the pervy old prosecutor, accusing him of sexual assault. In an almost-pleasant surprise, the story doesn't end with the police refusing to believe her:

Keim ultimately agreed to record conversations with Morel for the FBI after he agreed to assist her with new theft and drunken driving charges, according to the court filing.

The FBI also videotaped a July 2012 meeting between Morel and Keim at her home. Morel brought two bottles of wine and again attempted to engage in "inappropriate behavior," the filing said.

FBI agent Jeff Sallet said Keim deserved praise "for her bravery and resolve," and added,

"Harry Morel is nothing short of a sexual predator ... His days of victimizing the most defenseless among us are over. He has been brought to justice and will now pay for his crimes."

The court filing claims that Morel also tried to solicit sex from other women between 2007 and 2009, offering leniency for them or their relatives in exchange for sex, but did not provide further details on those alleged cases. Oh, hey, you may want to get that bucket handy again:

In the end, prosecutors did not charge Morel with any sexual crimes. He pleaded guilty to a narrowly tailored charge of obstruction of justice for harassing Keim and pressuring her to get rid of evidence in the federal grand jury investigation that targeted him.

Morel knew Keim's boyfriend had taken photos of him meeting Keim at least twice, and told her to destroy the photos since he knew he was under federal investigation.

"You shoulda got rid of it a long time ago," Morel told her during a 2012 meeting, according to the filing.

As for the other allegations of exchanging leniency for sex, U.S. Attorney Kenneth Polite said the statute of limitations and the lack of concrete evidence of Morel offering women some quid in exchange for a quick pro quo under his desk made a successful prosecution unlikely. So, no, not quite as satisfying an outcome as an episode of Law & Order.

Morel's defense attorneys, who are of course only doing their job, object angrily to officials' descriptions of Moreal as a sexual predator, since this is, after all, merely an obstruction of justice case; they complain the allegations are sleazy prosecutorial smears aimed at influencing Morel's sentencing, set for August 17. "That is both unfair and, in my judgment, impermissible," said his attorney, Ralph Capitelli. Feel free to imagine him officiously adjusting his tie as he said that. Morel will remain free on bond until sentencing; as far as we know, no one in the federal prosecutor's office has offered him a sweeter deal in exchange for a handy.


Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator reminds you to review The Rules for Commenting Radicals, and points out that while Harry Morel is indeed a despicable excuse for a human being, you are not to wish death, prison rape, or other horrors upon him. Feel free to wish that he eventually dies of natural causes, completely alone and unloved.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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