Trump Courts Suburban Women With Seemingly Preferable Offer To Leave Before The Lights Are On

Trump

Trump is losing ground with suburban women, who in his diseased mind are all married, straight white ladies from the 1950s who cook formal dinners every day while wearing pearls. Polls show Joe Biden up double digits in the non-imaginary suburban woman demo. There are many reasons: Trump's response to COVID-19 has been a complete disaster. He's also crass, rude, and belligerent. Trump has tried everything but listening to what suburban women might actually want in a leader. Now, he's resorting to just begging them for their vote.

Check out the president's “please, baby, please, baby, baby, baby please" routine at his Pennsylvania superspreader event Tuesday.

TRUMP: Suburban women, they should like me more than anybody here tonight because I ended deregulation that destroyed your neighborhood. I ended the regulation that brought crime to the suburbs.

This is simultaneously sexist and racist. Suburbanites in general, regardless of gender, don't want their neighborhoods “destroyed." How is this specifically an issue for suburban women? Trump keeps blowing that dog whistle about criminal hordes invading the suburbs, but no one's fetching. This is probably because suburban women aren't that frightened of Cory Booker and his vegan smoothies.


TRUMP: So can I ask you to do me a favor? Suburban women, will you please like me? I saved your damn neighborhood.

Yes, the ladies love it when men curse at them and demand certain favors in exchange for that lobster dinner or whatever it is Trump think he's provided suburban women.

Trump assumes his problem is that women don't know nothing and want him to be Mr. Sensitive, but he doesn't have time for that shit.

TRUMP: The other thing is I don't have that much time to be nice.

He's saying this at his unsafe and unnecessary ego-stroking campaign rally. He's not actively advancing the interests of the American people when he retweets conspiracy theories and insults women governors on Twitter.

TRUMP: You know, I can do it, but I got to go quickly.

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TRUMP: They want me to be politically correct.

Yes, while a shocking number of men don't mind if the president is a preening ass, most women voters prefer a functioning adult in the Oval Office. Trump also WON'T SHUT UP about how “mean" Kamala Harris was during Supreme Court confirmation hearings or vice presidential debates. He whined that Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer didn't send him a thank you note because the FBI — not Trump personally — prevented rightwing thugs from abducting her. He obviously thinks women politicians have all the time in the world for political correctness. Women voters tend to notice this double standard.

Trump isn't losing because he's not nice. As the Doctor said, you should “always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind." I can overlook someone's gruff exterior or overall Henry Higgins demeanor, but Trump isn't a kind or generous person, deep down. He's petty, cruel, and vicious.

TRUMP: Oh, let's discuss it. Let's talk about it over the next 10 years. No, no, no ... we saved your ... we saved suburbia!

Openly mocking the genuine concerns of women isn't a winning strategy, which might explain why Trump isn't winning. His ego won't permit him to accept that Joe Biden possesses certain traits that a key segment of his 2016 coalition prefers, like empathy, compassion, and human decency. He won't change, and now suburban women are burning rubber on him.

This was Trump's “please, clap" moment. You'd almost feel sorry for him if you weren't counting down the days until his political humiliation.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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