Marjorie Taylor Greene is very sorry.

She's very sorry that her "Democrat colleagues" can't see her as the good, kind, three-dimensional person she is. So sorry that she's being judged on the basis of her own public statements, rather than as a wife, a mother, a Christian. She's very sorry that Democrats were so busy "murder[ing] over 62 million people in the womb" and opening our borders to illegal aliens that they failed to notice saintly Donald Trump finally doing something about the national debt. (Growing it.) She's sorry that you guys pushed the Russia collusion "hoax," and she's sorry about "the media that is just as guilty as QAnon of presenting truth and lies to divide us," which forced her to "start[] looking up things on the internet, asking questions." She's sorry that her research led her to endorse racist, anti-semitic conspiracy theories, and she's real sorry that she was "allowed to believe things that weren't true."


She's "lived a very good life that I'm proud of, my family's proud of, my husband's proud of, my children are proud of," and she's just sorry you can't understand that she walked away from that QAnon stuff in 2018 and so it doesn't even count. She's sorry that the Democrat Party advocates for gun-free school zones, because she lived through a hostage situation at her school and snipers weren't even allowed to shoot that teenager in the head in front of his classmates the way she said Nancy Pelosi should have been. And so she knows "the fear that David Hogg had that day" which is why she had to harass him on the street and call him a coward. Sorry about that.

She's sorry that "big media companies can take teeny tiny pieces of words that I've said, that you have said, any of us and can portray us and to someone that we're not, and that is wrong." And she's sorry that Ted Cruz got cancel cultured, because "when big tech companies like Twitter, you can scroll through and see where someone may have retweeted porn, this is a problem."

She's sorry that you are offended because "I am passionate, I'm a competitor, I'm a fighter," but also you can't really judge her because "I'm a sinner and that Jesus died on the cross to forgive me for my sins." She's sorry that "Congress is to tolerate members that condone riots that have hurt American people, attack police officers, occupied federal property, burned businesses and cities, but yet wants to condemn me and crucify me in the public square for words that I said, and I regret, a few years ago." But most of all she's sorry that you want to "murder God's creation in the womb" with your support for abortion, which is "the worst thing this country has ever committed."

Just look how very sorry Rep. Greene is the morning after all Democrats and eleven of her Republican colleagues voted to strip her of her committee posts. The very picture of contrition.

Looks like we're back to our regularly scheduled programming, and if it's 8 o'clock it must be time to deliberately mangle your opponents' name while complaining about the democratic process. As Leader Hoyer pointed out, Rep. Greene has never bothered to treat her opponents as real, three-dimensional human beings, rather than cartoon demons to be slain as in this infamous ad she ran during the 2018 campaign.


Hoyer: Mr. Speaker, I urge my colleagues to look at this image. I heard about motherhood today. Two of those women between them have six children, they're mothers. One of them does not have children and she's come to this body asking for more housing for people, for more healthcare for people, for more income for people. How awful. And they're not the Squad. They're Ilhan, they're Alexandria, and they're Rashida. They're people, they're our colleagues. And yes, you may have disagreements but I don't know anybody including Steve King who you precluded from going on committees for much less. And this is an AR-15 in the hands of Ms. Greene. This was on Facebook just a few months ago. That is a message of peace and reconciliation and peaceful democratic dialogue.

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy had the stones to strip Steve King of his committee seats after he suggested that white nationalism wasn't such a bad thing, but the caucus gave Greene a standing ovation two days ago β€” not exactly a ringing endorsement of Trump's influence on the Republican Party. But if the GOP isn't going to take out its own trash, the Democrats will do it for them.

"If anybody starts threatening the lives of members of Congress on the Democratic side, we'd be the first to eliminate them from committees. They had the opportunity to do so," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said yesterday, adding later, "You would think the Republican leadership in the Congress would have some sense of responsibility to this institution."

Spoiler Alert: They would not.

It's not like Greene came to do any actual governing anyway. For all her talk about abortion, the only bill she's sponsored since getting there is a preposterous resolution to impeach President Biden for "abuse of power by enabling bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors." That would be for (imaginary) conduct before taking office, BTW, but trolls aren't known for their consistency.

After Reps. Chris Collins and Duncan Hunter lost their committee spots thanks to a rule barring service by members under felony indictment (whew, Kevin McCarthy dodged a bullet, huh?), they wandered around Congress forlornly. But Reps. Boebert, Cawthorn, and Greene didn't come for the laws, they came for the LULZ, and they're not even trying to hide it.

"I have built my staff around comms rather than legislation," Cawthorn told Time this week. That kid makes Matt freakin' Gaetz look like a principled savant.

And as we were typing, Greene was giving a presser to thank Democrats for clearing her schedule because "If I was on a committee I'd be wasting my time because my conservative values wouldn't be heard and neither would my district's." How she intends to translate her district's conservative values into law, the representative did not say.

So it's probably no great loss that Greene won't be offering her considered judgments (oh, but we are silly on Fridays) to the Education and Budget committees. Now she'll have more "free time" to post menacing shit about her colleagues on social media, and they will be spared hearing her blarp nonsense about "socialism."

Win, win. Except for America, which is fucked because we have one major party that has given up on governing in favor of stickin' it to the libs. But, you know, other than that ...

[Greene Transcript via Rev / Hoyer Transcript via Rev / Politico]

Follow Liz Dye on Twitter RIGHT HERE!

Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, this is the link to do it.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc