'Magical Inkless Pens' Help Obama Carry Nothing In Chicago

At a voting precinct in Chicago yesterday, a vote-scanning machine rejected 20 paper ballots that voters had used "magic" invisible ink pens to fill out. Now don't go shouting DIEBOLD just yet -- these ballots were rejected because there is no such thing as a magic invisible ink pen to be used on paper ballots. The pen was just a stylus for touch-screen voting machines, and everyone in that precinct is a retard.

Twenty ballots -- not enough to sway anything, in any election ever, unfortunately -- were left blank, because magic doesn't exist (but maybe Hope does?):

Apparently, said city election board spokesman James Allen, the poll workers told incredulous voters--including one spouse of an election judge--that the stylus used for touch-screen voting was actually an inkless pen to fill out paper ballots.

The retards who bought this theory are somehow claiming that they're not, in fact, the retards that they are:

"I'm incredibly angry, and I feel so dumb," said Amy Carlton, 38, of Rogers Park. "And I am not a dumb person."

Ms. Carlton proceeded to build a Lego model of Barack Obama's face, but the vote-scanning machine rejected that as well. And then it exploded.

Election officials probe use of 'magic' invisible ink pens in 49th Ward [Chicago Tribune]


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