Marianne Williamson Denies Being A 'Crystal Woo-Woo Lady,' Is Still Every Other Kind Of 'Woo-Woo Lady'


Despite the fact that she has absolutely no chance of winning, Marianne Williamson is still running for President. Also, she is very upset with the media and the Left in general for making her out to be some kind of "crystal woo woo" lady when she has in fact never even done the whole crystal thing and is an altogether different variety of "woo-woo lady."

Speaking to Yahoo News, Williamson vented her frustration with the way she has been portrayed in the media "This idea that I'm a crystal woo woo lady ... the crystal woo woo lady image, to some extent amusing, has no relation to reality[...] I've never had a crystal, I've never written about crystals. I've never talked about crystals. I've never had a crystal onstage with me."

Is this just a misreading of Williamson based on the fact that she is very New Agey and believes a whole lot of other ridiculous things, like for instance that excess body fat is made up of "negative thoughts? Or because she based her whole self-help empire on a book by a lady who thought she was channelling Jesus when she wrote it? Not according to Williamson. According to Williamson, this whole thing is actually a "well-designated strategy," an orchestrated plot to take her down. Orchestrated by whom? She does not know. But probably the Illuminati.

"The words were all the same," said Williamson. "'Anti-science,' 'anti-medicine,' 'dangerous,' 'crazy' and 'grifter.' I mean, you couldn't be clearer. Those were the words repeated in all of the articles, all of the stories. They were meant to create suspicion in people's minds. They were meant to create doubt, lest anybody even think of taking me seriously as a candidate. But I think at this point, just as that smear campaign cast doubt on my credibility, the fact that I've been out there, that people have heard me more themselves, people have seen my clips, enough has begun to cast doubt on the credibility of those who have projected onto me such mischaracterization."

Sure! You could say that the reason writers went for words like "anti-science" and "anti-medicine" and "crazy" was because of crap like this...

Or this...

Or this...

Or the fact that her entire self-help empire is based off of a book written by a lady who claims it was actually written by Jesus, whom she said she was channeling at the time.

It could be any of those things! But probably it is a nefarious plot to make people not take her seriously as a candidate for President of the United States, a thing that people would definitely do otherwise. I mean, if I hadn't been sent that memo from an unknown email address instructing me to say that Marianne Williamson is a kook, this article would probably be about how super normal it is that she thinks AIDS can be cured with prayers.

Personally, I do kind of hope she stays in the race, and also I hope that she chooses this lady — who channels not Jesus, but Freddie Mercury — as her running mate. Because hey, at least it would entertaining.

Channeling Freddie Making a Mends

Anyway.... this is now your open thread! Enjoy!


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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