Marjorie Taylor Greene Pretty Sure Her Middle-Aged Immune System Can Handle COVID-19 Without Any Help

White Nonsense
Marjorie Taylor Greene Pretty Sure Her Middle-Aged Immune System Can Handle COVID-19 Without Any Help

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene from Georgia, which deserves better, revealed last week that she's defiantly unvaccinated. She also keeps getting fined because she refuses to wear a mask on the floor of the House of Representatives, where she is inexplicably a member.

Greene won't stop whining about how mask and vaccine mandates are a form of persecution, as if dullards are a protected class. Monday, she tweeted:

I am not vaccinated. I choose to trust my own body's immune system against #COVID19 and do not fall into any risk groups. I solidly stand against the unconstitutional vaccine mandates, and I will be fighting alongside those persecuted for choosing not to take the jab.


Greene and I both graduated from the University of Georgia in 1996, but she's acting like she's a 21-year-old who can regrow an arm overnight. Life becomes very risky when you're 47, and you also fall more often. Greene seems to think she can CrossFit the COVID away. On April 1 (yes, really), she shared a bizarre video of herself working out with the message, “This is my Covid protection." Deadlifting (poorly) is not a medically recognized protection against COVID-19.

So far, 763,178 Americans have died from COVID-19. Yes, many of the dead were immunocompromised, but not everyone was like the boy in the plastic bubble. Their immune systems were relatively normal but just weren't up to the task of fighting off a novel coronavirus that shreds your lungs. Greene's grotesque ableism aside, people who fit her narrow view of “healthy" have died from COVID-19 and many who survived still have lingering, debilitating symptoms.

Greene could personally have a mutant healing factor, but that wouldn't prevent her from spreading COVID-19. The virus is currently the leading cause of death among police officers. There are minimum fitness requirements for law enforcement, but COVID don't give a fuck. Maybe instead of waving a thin blue line flag, Greene could consider wearing a damn mask, but that is apparently both communism and the Holocaust.

Further evidence of Greene's sociopathic tendencies is that she doesn't seem to care if she infects her fellow House members. She also tweeted yesterday:

The only time I wear a mask is when I have to fly.

I have $60,500 in mask fines from Nancy Pelosi, who is a hypocrite because she does not wear a mask at times. Here she is during the vote on Infrastructure bill, with her mask down.

I'm also suing her.

We can add “hypocrite" to the list of words whose definition Greene fails to comprehend. She's the hypocrite because she selectively complies with mask mandates. Yes, it's inconvenient to have to drive long distances, but there's no reason why she can wear a mask on a plane and not on the House floor.

The Capitol attending physician Brian P. Monahan recommended the mask rule, which House Speaker Nancy Pelosi enforces. Greene claims Pelosi is a hypocrite because she was caught on video speaking to Majority Leader Steny Hoyer with her mask pulled down. Hoyer is 82 years old. My own experience with people around his age is that they find it very hard to hear you when you're wearing a mask. But we all know it doesn't matter if Pelosi had consistently obeyed the mask rule. Greene would find any excuse not to comply.

Yes, Pelosi, who is vaccinated, sometimes doesn't wear a mask around other vaccinated people, which somehow justifies Greene's dumb unvaccinated ass never wearing a mask around people. Anti-vaxxers are the primary reason we had to start wearing masks again in indoor public spaces, so fuck you, Marjorie. You're also going to lose whatever nuisance suit you file against Madame Speaker.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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