Mark Foley Madness!

Party of Lincoln! - Wonkette

Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?
Teen: A little.
Maf54: Cool.

-Matt Drudge, 9/29/06

Representative Mark Foley dramatically resigned today as every Washington news outlet raced to find and publish his cyber-sex with teenagers, promising that things are about to get a whole lot creepier before they can be spun back to business as usual. We've all read the emails, and they're creepy-but-vague. But these filthy IMs describing specific sex acts are ON THE WAY -- ABC has them and no one can get get to them (except for what they spoonfeed Matt) until Charlie Gibson does his dramatic reading tonight.

So we'll make sure to let you know the second we hear the filthy details, even though it's a fucking Friday night. The sacrifices we make for you.

The story so far and assorted uncomfortable funnies, after the jump.

Foley was a target of pretty much every single Congressional Outing campaign from the mid-90s onward, though he staunchly denied it in no uncertain terms. He's spent the last couple years building up a gallery of public statements and photo ops that have rarely been matched in ex post facto irony, as a defender of kids from predators and supporter of traditional family values. As he wrote on The Hill's blog:

The Internet has provided the world with a new medium that connects people across the globe, sends information within seconds and has brought new opportunities for education and economic growth to millions. Unfortunately, law enforcement and child protection experts also tell us the Internet has made child pornography easier to disseminate, easier to produce, and easier to turn a profit on.

Even M. Night Shyamalan doesn't telegraph his twist endings so obviously.

Mark fought for children offline, too, as this 2003 St. Petersburg Times story teaches us:

For 10 years, young people ages 11 to 18 have gathered in Pasco and other Florida counties to pitch tents, swat volleyballs and sing around campfires.

Typical summer camp, save one important distinction: They do it naked.

U.S. Rep. Mark Foley, one of Washington's leading advocates for missing and exploited kids, doesn't like the idea of a clothes-free camp for teenagers. After reading a story Wednesday in the New York Times, he decided to raise a fuss.

The congressman doth protest too much. Seriously, any time you snuck up behind Foley he'd shout "I'M NOT A PEDERAST!"

Meanwhile, Drudge found even more ironies too obvious to highlight on Foley's still-active congressional website, including the picture of the man with a page up top.

We're getting all we can, keep refreshing Wonkette EVERY TEN SECONDS ALL WEEKEND LONG.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc