Mark Foley Misses The Good Life, And Levi Johnston Fears Sarah's Evil Cackle

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Hoochiemama! Teenage cumsicle LEVI JOHNSTON shan't be accepting the generous Turkey Day invitation from SARAH PALIN, who selflessly offered her home to Levi on national teevee! "You could tell by her laugh she was full of it," explained Levi. And by "it," Levi meant "a deep-seated desire to punch me, Levi Johnston, in the dick." Stay away from Levi's junk, Sarah! It is his livelihood ...


GOSSIP THE LIBERAL MEDIA WON'T TELL YOU: REP. KENDRICK MEEK (D-FLA) gave a shout-out to his righteous Omega Psi Phi fraternity brothers. Who could forget those booze-crazed days? Certainly not Meek's pickled liver ... MARK FOLEY loves watching "health care debates" on C-SPAN and can't wait for the first season to come out on DVD ... REP. PAUL HODES (D-NH), a staunch pro-puppy liberal, spent his Tuesday evening live-blogging the entire State of New Hampshire. Did we mention that he's also running for U.S. Senate? Paul, so ambitious! ...

After much deliberation and hand-wringing and so forth, the HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE concluded that BANK OF AMERICA sent federal regulators so many hookers and fruit baskets -- hookers in fruit baskets -- that it would have been rude and in poor taste if the bank was denied billions of taxpayer dollars to buy Merrill Lynch. Case closed.

Riley Waggaman's WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com

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