Mark Penn Unveils New Microtrends: 'Buyers' And 'Sellers'


Obese, constipated hell monster Mark Pennhas written a new edition of "Microtrends" -- no not the book about how to lose a Democratic primary with a Clinton, but the Wall Street Journal column about pornography! IN WHICH HE WRITES: "Running counter to the pack is almost always the key to real success." Complete pornography! FURTHERMORE: "Most of the microtrends being created by the financial crisis have been about resetting our tolerance for risk." In other words there are three Microtrends right now: people taking on risk, people taking on no risk, and people just sitting around doing whatever. So granular! But which one gets to be prom queen hmm?

What we have here are two main extreme groups, Microtrend groups. Each Microtrend group gets a funny name of course, that's why making stuff up is such a delight! In this case we've got steers & queers:

These "Fearless Freddies" are the ones who had the stomach to invest in Citigroup when its share price dipped below a dollar. They are the ones buying oil (and oil stocks) as it hits new lows. They are down in Florida looking for condos and checking out the foreclosures. They are either the smartest people in this changed economy -- or the dumbest.

Unlike the "New Mattress Stuffers" I wrote about in December, who are loading up on guns, gold and home safes, these investors are hoping that a comeback will come more quickly than most experts expect -- a comeback they hope will make them rich.

So either people who think the economy is near the bottom, or those who don't. Microtrends!

Who is a Fearless Freddie? Warren Buffett is a Fearless Freddie! It could cost him very dearly! WHO KNOWS? Microtrends.

Oh and then there are these dandies:

Most investors are "Go-With-the-Flow-ers" -- they have sold some stocks, held on to others and are just waiting to see what happens before doing anything drastic. They are not controlling their fate and rather are awaiting the outcome to see how they do.

Who knew that "Most investors" could form a Microtrend group, defined by caution during a recession?


Pick one -- be [a] Mattress Stuffer, a Fearless Freddie, or a Go-With-The-Flow-er, and arrange your life accordingly. If you want to join the fearless group, run, don't walk to the housing and stock markets; buy more financial-sector stocks; and think about starting your own business and leaving your big corporate employers. Plan on inflation not deflation, and buy the car, and maybe the TV set, of your dreams.

We don't wanna pick. No picking. Stop this. Stop.

Bungee-Jumping in New Economy [WSJ via Gawker]


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