Let us consider the latest squirming from South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, an ass. Like Texas' Rick Perry, Sanford has gone out of his way to criticize the stimulus package as actual legislative trash that should be shat on by hobos and blown up and shot. And yet, he has still been considering accepting his state's stimulus funds -- or at least the parts over which he has control -- because he is a dick. He wrote a letter yesterday to state legislators briefing them on his latest plan: he wants to use the chunk of the STIMULUS MONEY over which he has discretion -- you know, because governors should be able to choose some of the BUSINESS INVESTMENTS and JOB-CREATING PROJECTS in their states that will receive ECONOMIC STIMULUS money, a GIFT from OBAMA -- to pay down the state debt, and he will write a strongly worded letter to this socialist president demanding permission.

(CNN) – South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford plans to ask President Obama for permission to use part of his state’s stimulus money to pay down its debt, not on new spending, according to a letter he sent state legislators Tuesday.

A longtime opponent of the president’s nearly $800 billion stimulus package, the Republican governor told his state’s lawmakers that spending approximately $700 million in money coming from the federal government would only make the state’s financial situation worse in the long term.

“[W]hen one is in a hole, the first order of business is to stop digging,” Sanford wrote in the letter obtained by CNN Tuesday.

And the second order of business is to sit in the damn hole and refuse to leave until Obama personally comes to fish you out, after which you should kick him in the groin.

If the ass does not want to take this federal money flagged for *stimulus,* then he shouldn't, but that doesn't mean he should then try to shake down the President! This is like if some guy offered to pay your college tuition and you responded "fuck those nerds," punched the benefactor in the jaw, ran off with his gal, and then wrote a strongly worded letter from a motel in Charleston that you still want $700 million dollars, but to pay off your bookie.

Just read this bit from Sanford's letter, which is an embarrassment to the country:

He had to throw that last little bit in there just in case you thought he was getting soft and giving money to lazy bums who won't GET A DAMN JOB.

In sum: Mark Sanford has reasoned that spending $700 million in federal grant money -- another entity's money! Not from the state budget! -- to invest in the rebuilding of his shit-poor state would... ruin the state's finances forever?

S.C. gov wants to use some stimulus funds to pay down debt [CNN]

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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