Have you ever been stuck in maddening traffic on the highway outside Boston? Or ground your teeth on a crowded platform at a T station, waiting for an endlessly delayed train? Well, then, you'll be thrilled to find out that Taxachusetts' dynamic duo of senators just wrung a bunch of cash out of the Feds for home-state transportation projects! Let's see which ones they're proudest of:

$4 million for the Barnstable Municipal Airport Air Traffic Control Tower Replacement Project;

$4 million for the Nantucket Memorial Airport Air Traffic Control Tower Replacement Project;

Huh. Yes, that will certainly come in handy, to make it easier to ... uh, fly to the shore, and, um ... you know, windsurf and such.

Well, it can't all be for rich-people airports, can it?

$1 million for the Steamship Authority's Oak Bluffs Ferry Terminal Reconstruction;

JESUS FUCK WHAT THE HELL KIND OF STATE STILL HAS A FUCKING STEAMSHIP AUTHORITY? Seriously, I think $1 million probably paid for the Navy's entire fleet of ironclads during the 1870s. "Steamship Authority" is obviously code for "Ted Kennedy's bar tab."

KENNEDY, KERRY ANNOUNCE SENATE APPROVAL OF $12.5 MILLION FOR MASSACHUSETTS ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT, TRANSPORTATION, AND HOUSING PROJECTS [kennedy.senate.gov]