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Massive Pro-Immigration Rallies To Be Ignored Nationwide Tomorrow

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YIKES DEPORT DEPORT DEPORT!Immigration-reform rallies will be held in some 80 cities tomorrow, with many thousands of people expected to protest just at Lafayette Square behind the White House. So why will these May Day demonstrations be ignored by the Main Stream Media? There are many good reasons!


  • They won't look as stupid as teabaggers. Lacking tri-corner Olde Hatts and misspelled signs with racist slogans, the somber immigration rallies just don't make "good teevee" in this era of constant reality freak-show entertainment. Plus, it's embarrassing to send Brit Hume or whoever out to a rally -- who wants to make eye contact with your gardener and nanny out in public?
  • It's White House Correspondents banquet weekend! So many parties! Who wants to go cover news when there's a 24-hour reach-around to attend?! And if those Mexicans skip dishwashing or valet-lot duty during WHCA dinner-party-time, there will be HELL TO PAY.
  • The Kentucky Derby! Rich southern America's favorite remembrance of slavery takes place on Sunday! Approximately one million reporters with television crews will descend upon Churchill Downs in order to "cover" a two-minute gambling event. Who will win?! A dead sport with no audience the rest of the year, horse racing nonetheless becomes a National Media Sensation for a few hours each year, simply because it's a habit for the press. Mint juleps, etc.!
  • OIL SPILL! If you're not in DC trying to get a trophy lick off Jay Leno's sweaty corporate nutsack or knocking over old men in Colonel Sanders' costumes to get a glance at Gwyneth Paltrow at the Derby, you -- as a media professional -- will be doing standups along the Gulf Coast somewhere, anywhere, really, with water behind you. The Gulf always looks dirty anyway, so who cares if the shot is off your motel balcony in the Florida Panhandle. That's the Gulf, right?

So, proud and dignified May Day protesters, that's why nobody's going to cover your boring 80 rallies everywhere. But if you poop on an American Flag and then burn it, you might get on the Fox News at least! [LA Times]

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