Donate

Matt Bevin Respects Founding Fathers' Devotion To Chicken Fighting

News

Kentucky Senate candidate Matt Bevin just can't seem to stop talking about the fundamental American right to make a sport out of watching animals tear each other to pieces, because god knows he needs to try to find some way of spinning thatspeech he gave at a pro-cockfighting rally last weekend. First he tried to explain that as far as he knew, it was just a pro-states' rights group, even though the organizers said that legalizing cockfighting was pretty much the focus of the whole shebang. But now Bevin's going to see if invoking the Founding Fathers will do him any good, since everyone knows that all true Americans want to return to the late 18th century, as long as we can still have Twitter, microwave pizza, and NASCAR.


Bevin's evolving chicken-fighting perspective comes after Mitch McConnell's campaign ridiculed Bevin's claim that he was unaware of the pro-bird-massacre orientation of the event. McConnell spokeswoman Allison Moore said, "Only Matt Bevin would go to a cockfighting rally and claim he didn't know what they were doing there," although frankly we can think of any number of members of Congress who might be equally clueless. Michele Bachmann, for instance, might have attended a cockfighting event but left in horror for fear that it had something to do with gay sex.

Bevin attempted Wednesday to justify his blood and feather-flecked embrace of chicken murder enthusiasts by reframing the matter in a Tea Partyish direction: campaign spokeswoman Rachel Semmel explained that McConnell was wrong to have supported cockfighting restrictions in the Farm Bill, and that "Matt doesn't believe this is a federal issue, and the state government can handle it," so there. Go small government.

And then on Thursday, it was time to drag out the Founding Fathers, because why not try that, too? In a radio interview, Bevin said that cockfighting, while not something he's into, has a long and noble pedigree:

But it's interesting when you look at cockfighting and dogfighting as well. This isn't something new, it wasn't invented in Kentucky for example. I mean the Founding Fathers were all many of them very involved in this and always have been.

And apparently they're still at it, always, because rooster fights made them immortal.

Bevins also explained that fundamentally, no one should criticize his palling around with poultry terrorists because Free Speech:

"I'm going to defend the right of people to freely gather and discuss whatever they want to," Bevin said. "I'm a believer in the Constitution and in the First Amendment," Bevin also said. "Not just for raising money but also for freedom of speech."

Bevin didn't actually take a position on whether Kentucky should legalize cockfighting, but it's awfully good to know that he'll be the first to jam a razor sharp spur into the eye (metaphorically) of anyone who would deny the right of people to talk about chicken fighting (not that anyone has said talking about it should be banned).

At this rate, we expect that by Monday Bevin will be praising the Emmy-nominated 1977 performance of Ben Vereen as Chicken George in Roots and calling it minority outreach.

[TPM Kentucky.com via TPM]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He'd like to think this is the last chicken boxing story he'll need to do, but that's really not up to him, is it?

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

If you want to take the pulse of the nation, with regards to feminism and how people feel about it, who do you go to? Well, if you are Brian Kilmeade of Fox News, you go to Tomi Lahren. Last night, these two geniuses discussed a recent poll conducted by Refinery29 and CBS News showing that only 46% of millennial women consider themselves feminists. Tomi Lahren knows why that is, and it's because feminists refuse to embrace Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Obviously.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

It's still Omarosa week! Aren't you glad it's still Omarosa week and that we still get to talk about Omarosa a lot more????

No?

OK, us neither. There are a couple things we need to point out though. One is that the Trump campaign's lawsuit against Omarosa for breaking the terms of an unenforceable nondisclosure agreement is HORSESHIT. We'll lawsplain that at you later today. Another is that it really is super fucked up, and entirely expected, that Trump called Omarosa a "dog." He probably wanted to call her a bitch and thinks he behaved himself by using the word "dog." Sarah Huckabee Sanders cannot guarantee we will never hear the president on tape using the N-word, because she absolutely knows it almost 100% certainly happened.

Those are some things about our current Week Of Omarosa.

But wait, here's another thing!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

Read More

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc