Matt Gaetz Just Wants America To Stop Being Unfaithful To Him :(

We regret to inform you that the discourse over Marjorie Taylor Greene's treason idea for a "national divorce" is still going. Apparently they really have been wanting to talk about this.

Sean Hannity had yet another conversation with Greene yesterday, this time on the radio, and Hannity was focused on the debt ceiling. You will be shocked to learn that it sounded like Greene doesn't really understand what the debt ceiling is. But regardless, Hannity thinks Barely Speaker Kevin McCarthy should use the debt ceiling vote to hold America hostage to some of the spending-type things in Greene's Contract Against America.

Laura Ingraham went a whole different direction with it last night. She does not want a national divorce. She asked, "Now, why would we want to embrace the states that gave us Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, but essentially give up on the states that gave us Reagan and Trump?" These dipnuts keep thinking they get to keep Georgia, what is wrong with them? How many elections does Georgia have to vote blue before they get it?

Ingraham also said let's not give up on the states that gave us John Wayne (Iowa, turns out? She probably meant California again), Sinatra (Jersey), or whichever state her Polish grandparents immigrated to. Whatever, we are glad Laura Ingraham is not advocating for secession and civil war.

Somewhere in the course of her show, though, Ingraham interviewed GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz, who says he also does not want a national divorce, but he just wishes all our leaders would stop staying out late at night doing the wanger nookie with Ukraine instead of coming home and doing the wanger nookie with him.

He did not say "wanger nookie."

GAETZ: I'm not for a national divorce, but I do think the federal government should have to spend the night on the couch for a while like, you know, Bill Clinton had to after the Monica Lewinsky stuff.

OK, weirdo.

He added:

GAETZ: Hey, it would be one thing to reject a national divorce more fervently if we didn't have our leaders cheating on the country with Ukraine, which is what we saw with President Biden recently!

At that point Gaetz and Ingraham whined that even Senate Republicans are on board with helping Ukraine, instead of being garbage like them. (It's true, Mitch McConnell has been really strong on this lately and Senate Republicans seem to be mostly staying in line, for which we give him credit.)

We are not going to comment too much more on Gaetz's bullshit about Ukraine, because just fuck you. If you don't understand why our support for Ukraine is a moral necessity in the fight to preserve freedom and democracy around the world, and to stand up to one of the world's trashiest scourges, Vladimir Putin, then just fuck you. If you insist on trying to make Ukraine our enemy and Russia our friend, fuck you. We don't have to type out an explanation every time. (This article is a good explanation of things at the one-year mark of Putin's genocidal war, though.)

Ingraham eventually tried to get Gaetz back on track to talk about how they shouldn't be arguing for a national divorce, since Democrats are just going to remind them of it every day and use it against them. (Yep!) Gaetz responded that Greene is making an "invigorated argument for federalism." Is that what the fascist kids are calling it these days? Gaetz said he wants the House of Representatives to use this opportunity to defund the woke government. And then you don't have to have a national divorce!

And Ingraham said maybe we can ban TikTok!

Greene responded to Gaetz's tweet and video with another 40,000 word tweet of her own, because stupidass apparently is incapable of writing a press release like a damned adult. A sample:

And Matt Gaetz is right when he says our government constantly cheats on it’s own people with foreign countries and America First policies is the marriage counseling we all need.

Stop cheating on Marjorie Taylor Greene too, she knows where America's been!

Another sample:

Just like the prodigal son, once the left gets to truly live in their own filth they have created without us, then they will be able to realize the error of their ways.

Our favorite part of all of this is the delusional fantasy that if liberals and progressives were denied the pleasure of living around MAGA troll people, we'd "realize the error of [our] ways" and beg for them to take us back. We feel like it's tied to their delusional fantasy that if only TEH SHADOWBANNERS didn't prevent everyone on Twitter from seeing their brilliance, then they'd be super-popular.

As if they offer anything to society that's of value.

Meanwhile, millions of kids and young adults in rural red America right now this very second are talking about trying to make a plan to get out. Where does Rep. Greene think they're planning to go?

But whatever, we're not the ones calling for a national divorce here, no need to blab about it any longer, Matt Gaetz is gross and weird, the end.

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And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon ( and at Post!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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