Matt Schlapp Saw Nevada Democrats In The Van Making Votes And One Of The Votes Looked At Him!

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Nevada is one of the many states Donald Trump lost in the 2020 presidential election. Although the vote-counting process was slower than my grandmother getting ready for church, President-Elect Joe Biden leads President Lame Duck by about 34,000 votes there with 94 percent of votes all counted. The remaining six percent isn't from Trumpster County, so Biden is expected to continue growing his lead, which has already passed Hillary Clinton's from 2016.

Nevada's six electoral votes wouldn't help Trump anyway, given that he's also lost Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Arizona and Georgia are also slipping away. This election is over if you're a rational person, but we're dealing with Donald Trump here. Republicans would rather coddle the mad king and his base than respect our democracy.

American Conservative Union chairman and Trump campaign surrogate Matt Schlapp held a press conference Sunday night outside the Clark County Election Department. To Schlapp's credit, this actually was the Clark County Election Department, not Clark County Total Landscaping, but we award him no points for the tinfoil hat conspiracy theories he shared.


According to Schlapp, dead people and minors and even dead minors have voted, along with at least 9,000 people who don't even live in Nevada! Perversely, while the Trump campaign attempts to disenfranchise millions of the “wrong" (i.e. Black) voters, Schlapp argued it was Republicans in Nevada who were submitted to Jim Crow gestapo tactics and denied the chance to cast their “legal vote." He provided no evidence for his charges, but you don't need proof when you have instinct.

Schlapp revealed that a “whistleblower" claimed to have seen a Joe Biden and Kamala Harris van pull up to a polling place in broad fucking daylight and just swap out ballots. It's unclear as yet if Bigfoot was driving.

SCHLAPP: A second whistleblower, we have not talked about before, described leaving on, and I'm going to use the male pronoun again, leaving on his lunch hour, and while he was on his lunch hour he decided to exercise around the counting center.

While he was walking he notices a van pulled up at the center marked Biden and Harris, the doors of the van were open, ballots were clearly visible, ballots were opened with letter openers, and ballots were filled in and resealed in envelopes.

The van was marked “Biden/Harris."

The van was marked “Biden/Harris."

The van was ... no, I just can't process this level of stupid. If you believe the people who “stole" an election from you did so while driving around in self-incriminating vans, maybe you deserve to lose the election.

SCHLAPP: These people who were involved in this activity then decided to create a human shield around what they were doing in the van.

People committing daylight voter fraud heists in vans that clearly identify them probably aren't that concerned with stealth. Schlapp's brain is broken.

Schlapp has run around on Fox News insisting he won't let “systemic fraud" undermine Americans' faith in our elections, but what's actively eroding that faith is his unhinged conspiracy theories that would get him laughed out of the "X-Files" office. This is deliberate. Biden isn't Black so Republicans have to come up with more convoluted reasons to dismiss his presidency as illegitimate.

We expected that Trump wouldn't leave office gracefully, but it's still repulsive to watch.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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