Mattis's Resignation Letter To Trump Less Of A 'Thank You,' More Of A 'F*ck You'

It's finally happened. Somebody has publicly resigned from the Trump administration in disgust and in protest of the fact that Donald Trump is an unhinged shitshow loonbag. James Mattis will serve as Defense Secretary until the end of February, but after that he's fuckin' OUTTA here. There's no question that his final straw was Trump's stupid and spontaneous decision to pull troops out of Syria without any actual plan for doing that in a reasonable and safe way. Maybe he was grossed out that we are literally leaving our allies, the Kurds, to be murdered by Turkey. Maybe he was horrified that it seems Trump made the decision after talking to the Turkish president, who told Trump he's in the mood to murder some Kurds, so maybe the Americans should get out of the way. (By the way, that particular ethnic cleansing has been postponed, but thanks for leaving anyway, America!)

There were other factors, to be certain. The fact that Trump followed up on his Syria stunt by ordering 7,000 troops out of Afghanistan -- possibly because on Thursday, Vladimir Putin, in his yearly press conference, praised Trump's decision on Syria and then in the same breath said America should GTFO of Afghanistan too -- can't have helped. And Mattis, who notoriously despises using the military as a political prop, can't have liked it when Trump used the troops as a political prop before the midterms, by sending them to the Mexican border to form a united front against the imaginary hordes of Mexican rapists in the president's deteriorated brain.

Oh yeah, and did you see that disgusting video Trump released announcing his Syria withdrawal, where he pointed at the sky and said he was doing this for the troops who have already died there? Mattis reportedly already had his resignation letter typed and ready to go when Trump forced him to watch that in the Oval Office on Thursday, but we wouldn't be surprised if that didn't contribute to Mattis's decision to go ahead and release his letter publicly five minutes later.

But have you read Mattis's letter? No, have you REALLY read it? The Pentagon released Mattis's resignation letter minutes after Trump lied on Twitter and said Mattis was "retiring."

LOL NOPE, every word of that is a lie.

Let's read Mattis's letter together, which includes absolutely zero praise for Trump, and painstakingly draws distinctions between American values and President Foreign Agent. It is a work of art.

Dear Mr. President:

Nicest part of the whole letter right there. He could have started with "Hey Assclown," but he is a professional.

I have been privileged to serve as our country's 26th Secretary of Defense which has allowed me to serve alongside our men and women of the Department in defense of our citizens and our ideals.

This part is not about you, Trump.

I am proud of the progress that has been made over the past two years on some of the key goals articulated in our National Defense Strategy: putting the Department on a more sound budgetary footing, improving readiness and lethality in our forces, and reforming the Department's business practices for greater performance. Our troops continue to provide the capabilities needed to prevail in conflict and sustain strong U.S. global influence.

Still not about you, Trump.

One core belief I have always held is that our strength as a nation is inextricably linked to the strength of our unique and comprehensive system of alliances and partnerships. While the US remains the indispensable nation in the free world, we cannot protect our interests or serve that role effectively without maintaining strong alliances and showing respect to those allies.

As opposed to that thing you do, Mister President, where you treat our allies and NATO like shit and destroy our strategic partnerships, while slobbering like a fucking dog every time Vladimir Putin or another foreign dictator winks at you.

Like you, I have said from the beginning that the armed forces of the United States should not be the policeman of the world.

This is the only thing Mattis can think of where he can say "like you," as regards Donald Trump, with a straight face.

Instead, we must use all tools of American power to provide for the common defense, including providing effective leadership to our alliances. NATO's 29 democracies demonstrated that strength in their commitment to fighting alongside us following the 9-11 attack on America. The Defeat-ISIS coalition of 74 nations is further proof.

Things that happened under presidents who were Not Trump, not that anybody's keeping score.

Similarly, I believe we must be resolute and unambiguous in our approach to those countries whose strategic interests are increasingly in tension with ours. It is clear that China and Russia, for example, want to shape a world consistent with their authoritarian model — gaining veto authority over other nations' economic, diplomatic, and security decisions — to promote their own interests at the expense of their neighbors, America and our allies. That is why we must use all the tools of American power to provide for the common defense.


My views on treating allies with respect and also being clear-eyed about both malign actors and strategic competitors are strongly held and informed by over four decades of immersion in these issues.

Mattis is the opposite of Trump, in other words, because he knows things and he has read a book. OK, time to quit now!

We must do everything possible to advance an international order that is most conducive to our security, prosperity and values, and we are strengthened in this effort by the solidarity of our alliances.

Because you have the right to have a Secretary of Defense whose views are better aligned with yours on these and other subjects, I believe it is right for me to step down from my position.

You don't deserve James Mattis, Donald. You deserve a dipshit. You deserve whatever idiot you get when Mick Mulvaney says he can't be chief of staff, budget director, first lady, head speechwriter, press secretary, AND SecDef.

The end date for my tenure is February 28, 2019, a date that should allow sufficient time for a successor to be nominated and confirmed as well as to make sure the Department's interests are properly articulated and protected at upcoming events to include Congressional posture hearings and the NATO Defense Ministerial meeting in February. Further, that a full transition to a new Secretary of Defense occurs well in advance of the transition of Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in September in order to ensure stability within the Department.

Notice how he doesn't say he's staying to help Trump have a smoother transition. But he cares about the department he runs.

I pledge my full effort to a smooth transition that ensures the needs and interests of the 2.15 million Service Members and 732,079 DoD civilians receive undistracted attention of the Department at all times so that they can fulfill their critical, round-the-clock mission to protect the American people.

Because it's about them. Not you, Donald.

I very much appreciate this opportunity to serve the nation

Not you, Donald.

and our men and women in uniform.

Still not you, Donald.

James Mattis

Not a "Sincerely, James Mattis," or a "Fuck you, love James Mattis." Just his name.

That letter is cold.

The reactions to Mattis's departure have been swift, intense and bipartisan. Democratic Rep. John Garamendi's response was on point: "Oh shit." Democratic Senator Mark Warner, who as the vice chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, sees intel neither you nor most of the rest of the Senate sees, had this to say:

"This is scary." In other words, IT'S REALLY BAD. How bad?

Tell us, Democratic Senator Chris Murphy:

"Gone off the rails."

"National security crisis."

Some, including an unnamed national security official and an unnamed GOP congressman, told reporters this suggests the "wheels are coming off" of the Trump administration. Factcheck WRONG, because the wheels came off on January 20, 2017, but OK SURE FINE, we get what they are saying.

GOP Rep. Adam Kinzinger, a veteran who knows #MilitaryStuff, was blunt and downright sassy:

You'll remember Kinzinger was the one who basically said Mattis should resign over Trump's Syria stunt.

And of course, as if to remind us that normalcy still reigns in some places in America, Marco Rubio said something mindfuckingly stupid about Mattis's resignation:

We guess he hadn't read Mattis's letter yet.

Bob Corker said a while back that the only people protecting the country from utter chaos were Mattis, John Kelly, and former secretary of State Rex Tillerson. While we have long cringed at the notion that there were somehow "adults in the room" -- or mostly with the notion that fucking John Kelly was somehow one of them -- we do note that as of February 28, they will all be gone.

We'll give the last word here to Admiral James Stavridis, who knows some shit:

Merry Christmas, America. We are well and truly fucked.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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