Maureen Dowd Writes Good Thing
Wrote good thing.
We here at Wonkette are not big fans of Maureen Dowd. Usually when we write about her, it's like "GAH what is this bizarre sex fantasy she wrote about Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren, WHY WHY WHY?" and "Barack Obama hates Maureen Dowd, like all patriotic Americans." Sometimes it's just "haw haw haw, looks like MoDo accidentally on purpose eated pot brownies again." Maureen Dowd is that writer conservative Americans scoff at their liberal children about, but then their liberal kids are like "dude, liberals hate her too," and then everybody agrees that if there is one thing that still unites America, it is Maureen Dowd Sux.
But we must report to you, for fairness in journalism purposes, that Dowd has, against all odds, written a VERY GOOD COLUMN about Donald J. Trump, the weak loser in the White House. NO, FOR REAL, WE ARE NOT FOOLING, this is not like the time MoDo wrote a thing where she thought it would be funny to call Trump a menopausal shrew and other cut-downs mean misogynists like Maureen Dowd say to ladies. It's better than that.
You know how you said at campaign rallies that you did not like being identified as a politician?
Don’t worry. No one will ever mistake you for a politician.
After this past week, they won’t even mistake you for a top-notch negotiator.
SHOTS FIRED. She's 50 words in and she's already said Trump sucks at his new job and sucks at his old job too. Where's your Art of the Deal now, SISSY BOY?
... [Y]ou, Donald, are getting a reputation as a sucker. And worse, a sucker who is a tool of the D.C. establishment.
Say it with us: L-O-S-E-R!
Dowd recounts how Trump's campaign was all "we're gonna fix it all, it's gonna be YOOGE, we're gonna win so much you'll get tired of winning," comparing him unfavorably to that other dumb celebrity what was president in the 1980s, Ronald Reagan:
You mused that a good role model would be Ronald Reagan. As you saw it, Reagan was a big, goodlooking guy with a famous pompadour; he had also been a Democrat and an entertainer. But Reagan had one key quality that you don’t have: He knew what he didn’t know.
That's ... entirely accurate. Maybe MoDo DID eat pot brownies again, but this time with a secret ingredient called "Be A Smart And Good Writer" juice. WHOA IF TRUE!
Dowd spends many more words describing in intricate detail how StupidHead McPussGrab got played over and over again in his failed attempt to repeal Obamacare, and again, it's really good, but we don't want to spend a thousand words telling you how a Dowd column is good because A) we're still processing our feelings it and 2) you know this is just a fluke, and she will get right back to writing dumb words about Hillary Clinton doing lady jizzes on Barack Obama before we know it.
Here is how Dowd finishes her column:
You got played.
It took W. years to smash everything. You’re way ahead of schedule.
And I can say you’re doing badly, because I’m a columnist, and you’re not. Say
hello to everybody, O.K.?
YA BURNT! By Maureen Dowd, who is apparently capable of pulling off YA BURNT!
We double-dare her to write another good thing before the weekend, LOL just kidding, that is an unfair double-dare. (OR IS IT?)
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