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Maybe Baby! National Enquirer: John Edwards Still Putting Penis in, Trying to Impregnate, Rielle Hunter

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Primpy shitsack "human" "man" John Edwards, who at one point was actually the progressive choice in the 2008 primaries -- and Christ, we dodgedthat bullet -- is still putting his penis in the vagina of flakey terrible person Rielle Hunter, and according to the Daily Mail's regurgitation of the National Enquirer, is possibly open to the idea of making yet another small human with her/the rest of America vomit out its own eyeballs. From the Daily Mail's cadging of the work of America's No. 1 John Edwards News Source the Enquirer:


Rielle Hunter is reportedly hoping to become pregnant before Edwards' trial in April, after which he could be sentenced to up to 30 years in jail.
GO TO JAIL, JOHN EDWARDS! GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL!

The couple has now decided to have another baby as 48-year-old Hunter's [GROSS] 'biological clock is ticking loudly', the National Enquirer reported.

'She's made having another baby a top priority,' a source told the tabloid.

[...]

'She's in great physical shape [GROSS], so she's hoping to get pregnant soon - if she isn't already.' [GROSS.]

Edwards and Hunter met in a bar in New York City in 2006, months before he hired her to work on a documentary.

To reiterate: a 48-year-old crazy person is trying to have a baby -- and that shouldn't present any problems -- with the perhaps the world's very smarmiest man, and together they form the world's least popular couple since Dick Cheney dined alone.

Uncle, Internet. We cry uncle. We give.

[Daily Mail]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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