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Do it for America, Susan!


Were we not just fawning all over "moderate" and "sane" GOP Senator Susan Collins of Maine, telling her she was the best and the brightest of all the GOP senators? Admittedly that's not a high bar, but GO WITH IT, READERS. She was saying Trump's original Muslim ban was anti-Muslim and probably unconstitutional, and even said she understood why George Soros was paying all those protesters! That was nice. Well let's encourage Senator Collins anew, because here's why:

GET IT, GIRL! Now granted, that says "open to," and not "GOING TO DO RIGHT NOW WITH MY REPUBLICAN LADY VANQUISHING SWORD," which we are sure is a thing all Republican lady senators have. Sounds to us like Mainers need to get on the phone and lovingly encourage their nice senator!

Let's get the scoop from WaPo, on what Senator Collins said to Maine Public Radio:

A Republican member of the Senate Intelligence Committee says she is open to requesting President Trump’s tax returns as part of the panel’s ongoing investigation into Russia’s alleged meddling in the 2016 elections. [...]

Collins also added that the committee could ultimately subpoena Trump’s tax returns, after being asked directly about the subject by the program host. Democrats say that Trump’s tax returns would reveal any business dealings he or his companies have in Russia.

“If it’s necessary to get to the answers then I suspect we would,” Collins said, noting that at this point, she had no idea whether such a demand would be necessary.

Call yr Wonkette crazy, but we bet it just might, since all these new revelations are coming out about shady Trump goons making plans for peace between Ukraine and Russia, and oh by the way America lifting sanctions against Russia, and Trump lawyer Michael Cohen either delivering said plans to former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn while wearing a teddy and high heels, or maybe he just dropped it off at Flynn's office in a stack of junk mail credit card offers, or maybe he doesn't even know what you're talking about. SAYS WHO?

And we all know Trump is hiding SOMETHING in his taxes, otherwise he would have just given them the fuck up the first time he was asked. Remember how Donald Trump Jr. said way back in 2008 that there was "money pouring in from Russia" into the Trump organization? Yeah, we just have this inkling of a suspicion of a hunch that those tax returns might be an interesting thing for the Senate Intelligence Committee to look at, while they investigate Trump's Russian ties.

And hey, if Trump is hiding something REAL big in there (like maybe if he tried to write off Russian pee hookers as a "bidness expense," HAHAHA WE JOKE), maybe he'll just resign if his tax returns are subpoenaed, thus sparing us the indignity of having a president who's in hock to Russia and maybe compromised by Putin, and so forth. As we explained when Mike Flynn was fired, there are still SO MANY QUESTIONS yet to be answered about exactly what Russia has on the gropey orange thing currently squatting in the Oval Office.

(Did you hear former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, whose name is all over the Steele dossier, and who has known weird ties to Ukraine and Russia, may have been threatened with blackmail by a Ukrainian parliament dude who allegedly said he has proof of collusion between Manafort, pro-Russian goons in Ukraine and Donald J. Trump? It's a crazy new story, and it's in the Politico!)

Senator Collins's timing in mentioning this is particularly good, since over there in the do-nothing House of Representatives, Republicans are planning to shitcan a Democratic resolution that would require Orange Hitler to disclose all his conflicts of interest and ties with Russia.

So, go Susan Collins! It's your birthday and you are FANCY! You go get those Trump tax returns! We are your cheerleader at Wonkette! Unless you wuss out like a common Republican! But that won't happen, because you are THE BEST! Right? Don't you want to be THE BEST?

Wonkette is ENTIRELY reader-funded, so if you want us to keep telling you the stories, GIVE US DOLLARS PLZ.

[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

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In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

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