Womp womp.

We got news of joy last night when we learned that, after New York state suspended Rudy Giuliani's law license — you know, for all the lying about election fraud to try to destroy American democracy — Washington DC has now done the same. That's two very important places the former president's personal lawyer might need to practice law, if he's to do personal lawyer things for the former president!

It was an automatic thing, and the appeals court in DC says it'll keep Roodles the Clown's license suspended until things are resolved in New York. And considering what the judges in New York had to say in their ruling, about how Giuliani is likely to face "permanent sanctions," let's just say it's sounding like Giuliani really is following in the footsteps of that other former Trump lawyer, Roy Cohn, who finished his earthly life as a non-lawyer.

Fun facts: USA Today reports that Rudy got licensed in New York in 1969, and in DC in 1976. This is, like, his life's work we're talking about, just circling the drain for Donald Trump.


Let's check in with CrazyEyes McDumbfuck:

Haha, when we said "CrazyEyes McDumbfuck," we meant Rudy. Didn't know we were going to get Newsmax idiot Greg Kelly as a bonus!

In other Rudy news, Vanity Fair reports that there is a legal defense fund for Rudy, who is also under criminal investigation by the Southern District of New York, the office he used to run. It was announced by — WAIT FOR IT — Bernie Kerik! We're guessing they had to set it up because Donald Trump famously stiffs pretty much everybody, and apparently has been stiffing Rudy for legal bills. When VF reported on it two days ago, it had raised $9,590 of its $5 million goal. So that was ... progress! When we checked it yesterday, it was up to almost $9,800. All of this was quite impressive for a guy who begged Trumpworld to pay him $20,000 per day for help with all that election-stealing.

Alas, it seems like the fund may have been hidden, or maybe it's been taken down, since OMG so embarrassing. Unfortunately now, when we click the link VF shared, it's just not even there.

Anyway, MAIN IDEA OF POST: Rudy Giuliani isn't allowed to practice law in DC or New York right now, and he may never be again. We're not sure where else he's licensed, but the way things are going for him, he could lose those by the time we publish this post.

Hey, maybe if Rudy needs some extra money he could hit up that landscape company in Philly, see if they'll let him do any odd jobs. Unload mulch or something. They definitely can't hire him out as a shirtless yard guy.

In summary and in conclusion, Rudy Giuliani's misery is our new porn, the end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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