Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe It's Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten

cat in sink wearing unicorn hat

Cheeto, courtesy of Wonkette Operative Heather

Good morning!

How are you guys today? I spent a lot of time debating whether or not I was gonna do a whole post on Robert Durst being found guilty, because that is thing I have been invested in for a very long time (although it now seems oddly anticlimactic) and I decided against because really, what am I going to say except "Oh damn, Robert Durst was found guilty, which seems about right since it was extremely obvious that he was guilty. I mean, you've seen 'The Jinx,' right? He literally said 'I killed them all.'" And I can say that here. You're welcome.

In other news we generally don't cover on this site, British stores are being warned not to sell excessive amounts of beans to children, as they very well could be participating in the new viral trend "beaning." "Beaning" involves throwing beans in people's driveways and actually sounds pretty wholesome as far as moral panics are concerned. Kids these days: Not smoking, not really doing drugs, not really having sex, just ... dumping cans of beans on people's driveways. For Tik-Tok.

I do, however, appreciate the good job the Manchester Evening News has done to try and make it seem like, somewhat bad ass.

Police have issued a warning to shops over a concerning new viral trend involving baked beans. Shops have been urged to look out for children buying large quantities of the tinned goods, while parents are being encouraged to check their cupboards.

It comes after 'beaning', a bizarre new trend, took off on social video sharing app TikTok, the Mirror reports. 'Beaning' involves children smearing baked beans onto people's driveways, doors and cars - and, of course, filming it. Numerous videos have been posted on social media with the hashtag #beanbanditz.

The messy craze, which is also potentially harmful to dogs, has prompted West Yorkshire Police to issue a warning to retailers and parents.

Oh no! It's potentially harmful to dogs? Is there no daytime talk show that can straighten these out of control teens out?

Anyway, here are your top ten posts of the week!

10. Are We Really Gonna Debate Mark Milley's World-Saving Actions While Trump Actively Steals The 2024 Election?

9. Put On Your Sunday Best, Because We Are Having A Wonkette Weekend Live Stream

8. Stephanie Grisham's Shocking Memoir Reveals Melania Trump Is Rancid Tire Fire

7. Oh No, Republicans Think The Satanic Temple Are For Real Satanists Who Worship Satan

6. One Of Ben Shapiro's White Friends Pretty Sure Day The Music Died Was When Barack Obama Killed It

5. Know That Thing When A Pomeranian Finds Out It's Going To The Groomer Even Though It HATES The Groomer?

4. Why's Everybody Pickin' On The Poor Right-Wing Hacks Of The Supreme Court?

3. Republicans Scream 'RIGGED!' In California Recall, Nation Yawns

2. Trump Spent 9/11 Teaching The Moonies A Thing Or Two About Brainwashing

1. The One Million Moms Are Mad At Gillette, Because Pubes Or Something

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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