Ancient midget John McCain is the "presumptive GOP nominee," which is why he continues to struggle in Republican state primaries that nobody else is really paying attention to, because of the Obama-Hillary wrasslin' match. Last night, the angry old man won just 72.7% of the GOP vote. Mike Huckabee, who dropped out of the race several years ago, still managed an impressive 11.4% -- "impressive" to losers like Guiliani and Thompson, at least! But you'll never guess who came in second place last night.

Okay, fine, you easily guessed it was Dr. Congressman Ron "Go Ron Paul!" Paul. The Pennsylvania Paultard Phanatics put on their "outside pants" and bum-rushed the polls, giving the libertarian-R.I.N.O. an impressive 16% of the Republican pie. It was his best day ever in a closed GOP primary.

Sure, you could argue that nobody gives a shit about McCain, and that few will even bother voting when a contest has already been decided -- less than 800,000 Republicans showed up at PA polls yesterday, compared to 2.2 million Pennsylvania Democrats who voted. And then you've got all the Republicans who registered as Democrats so they could vote for Hillary, as instructed by the wingnut talk-show goons.

But still, if McCain can't even win 75% in supposedly uncontested closed-GOP primaries, is this really the guy the Republicans think can win the White House.

The answer, of course, is No. He is just the Bob Dole of this election, minus Bob Dole's charm.

In PA, Pauls' Best Showing of Campaign [ABC News]