John McCain sent out a shocking e-mail yesterday to campaign supporters: He has defeated the socialist hippie Hillary Clinton in the 2008 election -- already! Aww. It's like when you go to your great-grandfather's 98th birthday party, and he brags that he used to know Mickey Mantle or Fred Astaire or somebody: Just nod your head, smile approvingly and wipe the spittle from his chin.

McCain Defeats Clinton [JohnMcCain.com]