McCain to Launch Presidential Campaign, Give You Diarrhea

John McCain's YouTube channel is streaming a pre-pre-preview of his official campaign announcement, featuring exciting video of those increasingly-rare moments when his blood is actually flowing to all of his body parts. Unfortunately, no one in the McCain mothership noticed that YouTube's video previews capture the midpoint of the clips and turn them into static screenshots. Hence this deflated-sounding promise of sauce, beans and meat products for anyone who sidles up to the Straight Talk Express.

- David Weigel


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