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Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT

News
  • A couple of sketchy Connecticut politicians battled by cue cards last night, in hopes of winning an all-expenses-paid six-year vacation with Joe Lieberman. Who were our lucky contestants? There's Attorney "Four Star" General Richard Blumenthal, who previously got in a bit of trouble for claiming to be Vietnam, which is a blatant exaggeration. And then there's Republican Linda McMahon, who in her former CEO life peddled "men in spandex, pretending to kill each other on teevee" to your impressionable, now brain-dead children. They mostly argued about our terrible economy, and Blumenthal even asked McMahon why Stone Cold Steve Austin action figurines are not manufactured in the good ol' USA, to which McMahon obviously replied "because you commie liberals won't let businesses use child slave labor." According to the Internet, Blumenthal is leading by six points and apparently last night there were no gaffes, so maybe this means Blumenthal won by default? That sounds right to us! [TPM]
  • The Tea Party Express will hire as many automated telephone messages as it takes to beat ungrateful loser Lisa Murkowski. [McClatchy DC]


  • Faisal Shahzad, the fellow who attempted to blow up Times Square, will most likely be sentenced sometime today. He'll probably serve a life sentence, but if the judge is grumpy, Faisal might get the chair instead. [CNN]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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