Meat Loaf Calls Greta Thunberg 'Brainwashed' In Obvious Attempt To Get Us To Read Interview About His Sex Life
This morning, Meat Loaf — the singer, not the food product — was trending on Twitter. For why? Because, in an interview with the Daily Mail, he said he believed that teen climate change activist Greta Thunberg had been brainwashed, ostensibly by climate scientists, to believe in climate change even though Meat Loaf, the guy who sang "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" knows climate change is not real:
Meat, who famously worked with President Trump on The Apprentice back in 2010, said he believes there is no such thing as climate change.
'I feel for that Greta. She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn't.
'She hasn't done anything wrong but she's been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true.'
Everyone has been going absolutely mad tweeting about the hilarity of "noted climate scientist Meat Loaf" thinking he knows what he's talking about, tweeting the article over and over and over again.
But here's the thing. This is what you see when you click on the interview where that exchange takes place:
SELF-CONFESSED SEX GOD, MEAT LOAF.
Approximately 90% of this interview is just Meat Loaf talking about how he used to bang a ton of hot chicks because of how awesome he is at sex (not because he was a rich and famous rockstar or anything), and how also he had a threesome in high school, in case you were wondering. Then a little bit about his weight loss, his new job doing some kind of commercial for some British vegan food company, and then, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, his opinion on Greta Thunberg.
Now, I ask you. If you were interviewing Meat Loaf, would it occur to you to ask him his thoughts on either Greta Thunberg or climate change? If you were even just talking to Meat Loaf, in a casual setting, can you imagine that the subject would just come up naturally in conversation? I contend that it would not! I mean, I've never really given much thought to what I would talk to Meat Loaf about. Probably it would have something to do with Spice World or Rocky Horror (fun fact: I was Columbia in a shadow cast while I was in high school.). It definitely would not be climate change.
Now, I'm not saying that Meat Loaf actually does believe in climate change, or even that he doesn't believe Greta Thunberg was cruelly brainwashed by a cadre of evil scientists... but I feel fairly confident that he just threw that in there so everyone would know that back in the '70s or '80s, all the ladies wanted a slice of Meat Loaf. Pretty much any time someone says something stupid about Greta Thunberg, it goes super viral. So if you really wanted everyone to know how awesome you were at fucking, talking about that and then throwing in some weirdly jerky comment about Greta Thunberg would be the way to go.
Think about it. Would anyone click on, never mind share, an article about Meat Loaf talking about how he is/was a sex god? Probably not! It certainly would not be trending on Twitter, I can tell you that much. But now, because he said some dumb shit about Greta Thunberg and climate change, thousands of people have read this:
Married to Deborah Gillespie, Meat admitted he's never had a problem getting beautiful women and many of his songs do talk about his love-making prowess.
'Most of my songs are... well, true,' he said. 'They are story songs and I am really good at stories... I am a sex god, dear.
'I can't use bad language but people would ask me, "How can a fat M-F like you go out with all these good looking girls?"
We are now all suckers who now know way more than we ever wanted to about Meat Loaf's sex life.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse