Eastern Guru Joe Biden Tells Jobless To 'Hang In There' and Eat Healthy
Here is an example of Joe Biden saying something that's basically common sense advice, but it still sounds kind of jackass-y because, well, Joe Biden is saying it about the nation's desperate jobless people. Asked what the nation's 25 million unemployed and underemployed people should do, what with the jobless rate basically unchanged (and terrible) for years now, he said they should "hang in there." Because Friday's coming, right! (Oh wait, that's kind of thing for peoplewith jobs.) Also he told them to quit eating like pigs.
Biden said that while the unemployment rate is only "dropping minimally," the economy is slowly improving, and all people can really do right now is to wait it out. "A significant portion of the companies out there ... are saying now that they're gonna begin to hire this year," he said. "The message is hang in there, things are coming back."
When asked what non-political things people could do to help turn around the economy, Biden suggested a healthy diet.
"Don't smoke, eat healthy, do not consume junk foods," he said. "I know that sounds silly, but it's very practical in terms of your own health and well-being, and also on the impact of the cost of maintaining the health care system in the United States."
Eh, what about how we've got the BEST HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD, according to people who are old enough to be on Medicare and also have never been anywhere else?
But really, unemployment does present a possible way out of the typical, awful American life. Stop eating fast food two or three times a day and you will instantly have an extra three-hundred dollars a month in your pocket. Knock off the smokes and it's another $150 to $300, depending on your habit. Avoid the entire middle of the supermarket -- the frozen dinner and soda pop and boxed-shit aisles that make up 80% of a grocery store's real estate -- and you can fill a cart with produce and pasta and peanut butter and beans/rice/flour/etc. for fifty dollars a week. Start going to bed at a decent hour, waking up early, exercising for free (walking, running, yoga on YouTube, etc.), and pretty soon you'll be all slimmed down and strong and ready to go riot against Washington like those Egyptian college kids. Because that's what Biden means, right? Right?!