Meet Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, The Purple Heart Who's F*cking Trump Up Today!

There's a new character for the impeachment investigation into Donald Trump every day, it seems, but the dude testifying today? Shit.

Meet Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vindman. He's a Purple Heart, injured by an IED in Iraq. He's an expert on Ukraine and the former Soviet Union, as his family escaped when he was three years old. He specifically refers to himself as an immigrant in his opening statement. He cares about Ukraine, just as he very obviously loves America. He's a patriot, and like so many public servants, he's happily worked for Republican and Democratic presidents alike, now serving on the National Security Council.

And today he's in Congress to tell what he saw Donald Trump do.

He's the first currently serving White House official to tell the White House to eat shit and testify pursuant to a subpoena, even though White House Counsel Pat Cipollone clearly stated in his funny "lawyer" letter that Congress is not Trump's real dad and therefore the impeachment investigation is illegitimate. He was also on the Ukraine call, so nobody can whine about his account being second-hand.

Oh yeah, and he's not the whistleblower, and he doesn't know who the whistleblower is, so don't ask him.

We have Vindman's opening statement. Therein, he recounts a few things he witnessed, things he attempted to take up the chain of command, things Donald J. Trump did that endangered our national security for the sake of his own political whims.

Vindman explains that he learned of "outside influencers promoting a false narrative of Ukraine" way back in the spring. (That would be Rudy Giuliani and a bunch of Chucklefucks, we are guessing.)

But he really started to see shit about two weeks before Trump's infamous July 25 treason call, during a visit of the Ukrainian national security advisor, Oleksandr Danylyuk, on July 10, and the simplest thing we can say about Vindman's description of that meeting is AMBASSADOR GORDON SONDLAND, YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR LAWYER, BECAUSE YOU APPEAR TO HAVE LIED TO CONGRESS LIKE A DAMN RUG.

The Ukraine meeting with John Bolton? The "three amigos" Gordon Sondland, Kurt Volker, and Rick Perry, who were doing skeevy unofficial parallel "diplomatic" work with Ukraine, were present. Vindman says the meeting was fine except for when GORDON SONDLAND STARTED SAYING UKRAINE NEEDED TO SPECIFICALLY DO CERTAIN INVESTIGATIONS IN ORDER FOR ITS PRESIDENT TO GET A WHITE HOUSE MEETING WITH TRUMP.

After that, a debrief:

Following this meeting, there was a scheduled debriefing during which Amb. Sondland emphasized the importance that Ukraine deliver the investigations into the 2016 election, the Bidens, and Burisma. I stated to Amb. Sondland that his statements were inappropriate, that the request to investigate Biden and his son had nothing to do with national security, and that such investigations were not something the NSC was going to get involved in or push. Dr. [Fiona] Hill then entered the room and asserted to Amb. Sondland that his statements were inappropriate.

That is NOT what Gordon Sondland said to Congress. He said he had NO IDEA that "Burisma" was code for investigating the Bidens. And here is Vindman saying that actually the name of the Bidens was invoked, and that Sondland was reprimanded for it in real time. Sondland told Congress that no concerns had ever been raised with him about their Ukraine policies in general, and said of that meeting specifically that Fiona Hill hadn't had anything but "cordial responses," and attributed anything she said in her own testimony to the contrary as just her being a Forgetful Fran.

At least one Democratic member of the House Intelligence Committee has seen enough:

Vindman also shares his thoughts on the July 25 crime call between Trump and Volodymyr Zelenskiy. Again, Vindman was on the call.

I was concerned by the call. I did not think it was proper to demand that a foreign government investigate a U.S. citizen, and I was worried about the implications for the U.S. government's support of Ukraine. I realized that if Ukraine pursued an investigation into the Bidens and Burisma, it would likely be interpreted as a partisan play which would undoubtedly result in Ukraine losing the bipartisan support it was thus far maintained.

After the call, he reported up the chain of command about what he had heard, specifically to the lead counsel of the National Security Council, who is ... Oh HEY, John Eisenberg! We have seen you receiving whistleblower reports and concerns about Trump's crimes in progress with Ukraine and not doing jackshit about them before!

How is all of that working out for you?

Vindman showed up today dressed as you'd expect somebody with his list of credentials to be dressed.

Have fun calling that guy a traitor clown Deep State disloyal nerdhead, Republicans!

Oh, you already are, because you really are that craven?

In that clip, John Yoo (yes that John Yoo) accuses Vindman of "espionage." You betcha.

In this one, Sean Duffy basically accuses Vindman of being a traitor, because of how he is a Ukrainian-American immigrant who came here when he was three.

Well, of course, he is concerned with American policy, since it's American policy to send the Congress-appropriated aid to Ukraine to Ukraine, but those are facts. What we need here is a Jesus Christ, Sean Duffy, go fuck yourself.

And of course Grandpa Dumbass has chimed in:

Pretty sure he'd be happy to oblige. Indeed, in Vindman's opening statement, he says, "As the transcript is in the public record, we are all aware of what was said."

It wasn't a "perfect" call.


[Vindman opening statement]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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