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Meet Débutante Fred: Liveblogging the GOP Debate

DEARBORN, Michigan -- Here we are in the place that best sums up America in 2007: A sad, rotten symbol of crippled U.S. industry and the vanishing middle class and the whole beat frozen rust belt dying in the American night. Also: Dearborn has many Scary Muslims! So the Republican candidates can at least always change the subject to how well foreign immigrants in Dearborn have done compared to their under-employed debt-ridden white neighbors ... okay, well maybe not that exact point. Oh who are we kidding. Rudy will just chant "9/11" until Ford magically starts selling cars again. America is back!


Let's get ready for the live-blogging action as wax-headed Chris Matthews and Maria "Money Honey" take the stage and introduce today and every day's debate winner, Ron Paul, and the other bunch of amoral flip-flopping alien-worshiping dog-torturing cousin-marrying Mexican-hating Mexican-loving Jesus-freak abortionist former fatties.

Should we do this in Michigan Local Time for the lulz? Sure, why not. Only 1,400 debates to go before the election is called off.

2:57 -- So, that's "3:57" in D.C., right?

2:58 -- MSNBC or CNBC? Which channel will be brave enough to show it? You can't interrupt "Closing Bell" or the stock market will collapse again, right?

3:02 -- Fred Thompson sees "no reason" why anyone would say we're headed toward a recession.

3:03 -- Wait, he doesn't know the word "recession." He stumbled there and said "economic downturn" instead. Is that the new GOP codeword for "recession"?

3:05 -- Yay, new stock market records! (Shh, that's because the major indices are dominated by international corporations. Things suck here. But still, go 401k!)

3:05 -- Yikes, one of twenty-four homes are in foreclosure? Jesus. That's way worse than even California's Central Valley or Las Vegas or Phoenix or the "Inland Empire," which are all in total meltdown.

3:06 -- Mitt would like you black kids to finish high school.

3:06 -- Mitt also claims Michigan is a "one state recession." Some actual economists are saying more like a 28-state recession.

3:07 -- So Chris Matthews doesn't know where capital comes from? That's why they keep him on MSNBC.

3:07 -- Rat-face Rudy just made some bizarre claim that some unnamed enemy (clearly the Democrats!) called the U.S. market the Most Evil Thing In The World or whatever.

3:08 -- Rudy and his law firm that would literally represent Hitler if they could find him, and yet he just blamed all financial problems in America on corporate lawsuits.

3:09 -- RON PAUL JUST PWNED EVERYBODY HE IS THE MOTHERFUCKING WINNER.

3:09 -- God he's whiny.

3:10 -- Yeah! Military Industrial Complex!

3:10 -- Walnuts is asked how to make the system fair because working class people pay 30% and gazillionaires don't pay anything. McCain's answer: "Wealth creates wealth." Then he says working/middle class people are losing their jobs and can't get health care.

3:11 -- Now McCain claims "Social Security is broke, Medicare is broke," meaning out of money. Wrong on both counts, a lie.

3:11 -- Incoherent bullshit, and now Maria asks him to maybe answer the question. Nonetheless, he got applause. But so did Ron Paul.

3:23 -- Hey, we're over here now. New thread!

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