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  • Regarding a proliferation of fake Obama VP text messages, Obama spokeswoman Jen Psaki says, "Everyone can also rest easy that despite their popularity, Mickey Mouse and Michael Phelps are not on the short list at this time.” [Politico]
  • Russia will ruin (and run) everything in the New Cold War. [New York Times]
  • In 2006, the hospital Michelle Obama worked at hired David Axelrod's firm to do a bunch of PR stuff. [Washington Post]
  • The Iraqi Army sucks less than it used to, so now U.S. troops can go home. [Wall Street Journal]
  • The city of Denver will collapse under the weight of billions of froth-mouthed Obamatards, including many who don't have tickets to the presumptive nominee's acceptance speech but are going anyway. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Sunni citizen patrols have helped tamp down violence across Iraq, and now Shiites are like, "Oh hey thanks now we will arrest you." [New York Times]
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