Meet Paddy, The Irish Republican Bear of Terror

The Republican National Committee is offering you the greatest gift for your loved ones for Irish Christmas, St. Patrick's Day! This is Paddy, "the newest member of the Republican National Committee's family of elephants." Paddy left the IRA after Hillary Clinton took its gun, and now he is "a wonderful plush toy and makes a perfect gift for St. Patrick's Day." The RNC urges you to "give Paddy to the 'Green' Republican in your life who is dedicated to improving the environment." This describes John McCain and no one else. But there are other terrorist stuffed elephant friends of Paddy's, and they're Jews!

This is Max, the Republican Jewlephant and famed New York financier:

Here's his Jewlephantess Maxine, an heiress to a small chain of Upper East Side ladies' accessories shops:

And here's the new Republican coalition from Hell, reminiscent of a post-ethnic, hawkish Brooklyn:

Is this love, or something much gayer?



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