Donate

Washington'sThe Hill newspaper has published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill, and yes, they were somehow able to find the requisite 50 people! We don't really know where to begin with this. Checking out all the names and pictures takes long enough, and then there are little articles for each entry -- long articles. So far the only sentence we've read, arbitrarily selected, was this: "It seems that when Coty Wamp, daughter of Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.), was 11, an alien invaded her body." We dare not ask any further questions.


Here's some other shit we noticed after looking at this feature for 37 seconds:

  • Most of the Republican entries are aristocratic little things with such names as "Brecke," "Ivy," "Crystal," and "Briana," who is probably the hottest. Oh and of course "Coty," the alien child-slave.
  • Most of the Democratic entries are black people. No Obama, however, because he has CUT HIS N*** OFF with the black community (Democrats).
  • Ha ha, we just read another arbitrary sentence: "Early on, her father, with no sons, nicknamed her 'Bob.'"
  • You're looking at the hot Republicans from Orange County and the studly black people named "Baloney," just scrolling along, and then JESUS FUCK WHO IS THAT WRINKLY OLD MAN, WHAT IS HE DOING HERE, GAHHH, THAT'S 900-YEAR-OLD SENATOR JOHN WARNER, HE'S ON THE LIST, PLEASE MAKE THE OLDNESS GO AWAY.
  • Liz Kucinich is #4. There is no excuse for her not being #1. Her husband, the elfin vagabond Dennis, does not appear on this year's list. It's almost like... one is much hotter than the other!
  • Rep. Vito Cossella is on the list! And the other 49 entries are all secret children of his.
  • "Otto Mucklo" looks like a pretty huge tool, because he is sitting on a motorcycle in his posed photo. He's single. We bet "Otto" with the motorcycle sleeps with a different girl of his choosing every night.
  • Sen. Norm Coleman's wife, Laurie, made the list, even though she lives in Hollywood as a failure.
Hey Hill staffers: give us the dirt on these people! tips@wonkette.com! For example: Is "Brecke," like, *really* fucking emotionally scarred because her father called her BOB because he wanted a BOY and not HER? Did an alien *actually* take over Coty's body and, if so, what did the ALIEN make her DO? HAS ANYONE NOT HAD SEX WITH OTTO MUCKLO LIKE 200 BILLION TIMES?

50 Most Beautiful 2008 [The Hill]

$
Donate with CC

Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

Keep reading... Show less
Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
$
Donate with CC

It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc