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Trainers give her herring treatsChesty Russian President Vladimir Putin denies tabloid reports that he has thrown over his ancient, bloated wife for Russia's most flexible woman: former Olympic gold medalist Alina Kabaeva, who won in the category of "rhythmic gymnastics." She is just 24 years old and a member of the Russian Parliament, so this is basically Sarkozy-Bruni all over again except with a sinister KGB troll and a bendy little minx who lounges around in polyester-blend lingerie from the Dress Barn.


Putin has, of coure, been married to the same tragic babushka for 30 years, and we cannot picture him having sex with anything more animated than one of those robotic talking mounted wall-trouts. This is why rumors of his impending remarriage to a svelte Rhythm Goddess seem implausible at best. But still...

When asked about the story at a press conference in Italy, Putin said that in many tabloids "the names of other successful, beautiful young women from Russia are mentioned. I think it won't be unexpected if I say that I like them all - just as I like all Russian women."

BREAKING WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE PUTIN DIVORCES WIFE AND MARRIES ALL RUSSIAN WOMEN OF ELIGIBLE AGE MUST CREDIT WONKETTE.

Putin secretly divorces his wife and marries rhythmical gymnast Alina Kabaeva? [Pravda]

Putin denies tabloid's divorce report [Sydney Morning Herald]

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