Meet The Trump-Approved MAGA Stooge Who Thinks She Can Beat Alaska GOP Sen. Lisa Murkowski

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Failed coup plotter Donald Trump has it out for Alaska GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski because she voted to remove him from office during his second-annual impeachment. He released a typically deranged statement in March stating he won't endorse "under any circumstances, the failed candidate from the great State of Alaska, Lisa Murkowski. She represents her state badly and her country even worse. I do not know where other people will be next year, but I know where I will be — in Alaska campaigning against a disloyal and very bad Senator."

Unlike most of the current Republican party, Murkowski is loyal to her oath of office, not just to a cult of personality surrounding a racist thug. She's also not a "failed candidate," because unlike the one-term loser, she actually won her last election. She's such a strong candidate, in fact, that when Tea Party dolt Joe Miller defeated Murkowski in the 2010 GOP primary, she ran a successful write-in campaign where people had to correctly spell “Murkowski" for their votes to count.


Last month, Trump endorsed MAGA stooge Kelly Tshibaka for the 2022 GOP Senate primary. The former Alaska Department of Administration commissioner in turn fully endorses Trump's Big Lie that widespread fraud and Satanic hijinks are the only explanation why a loathed incumbent president with underwater approval ratings and double-digit unemployment lost re-election. Tshibaka told CNN in April that we "don't know the outcome of the 2020 election." Seems like Alaska should stick with senators who read newspapers and occasionally watch CNN.

"In the 2020 election, there were questions raised in several states, and we're not allowed to look into the questions of those allegations to see what actually happened," Tshibaka added. "I still have questions, and I think millions of other Americans do too."

This is all bullshit. Question were raised, and courts across the nation pointed and laughed. It's fine that Tshibaka still has "questions." We should never abandon the Socratic method. But there is no question that President Joe Biden beat the stuffing out of Private Citizen Donald Trump in the 2020 election.

Trump boasted that Tshibaka is "the candidate who can beat Murkowski — and she will. Kelly is a fighter who stands for Alaska values and America First." The Alaska Republican State Central Committee apparently agrees, as the group endorsed Tshibaka's candidacy in a 58-17 vote. The committee voted 53-17 to censure Murkowski because of her radical “presidents shouldn't incite insurrections" stance. Republican party leaders in the state set out to recruit someone to run against Murkowski, and Tshibaka is apparently the result. Maybe everyone else was busy.

While Murkowski was one of the first GOP senators to publicly support same-sex marriage, Tshibaka has reportedly supported discredited anti-gay “conversion" therapy (i.e. child abuse), and grossly claimed that "sexual molestation during childhood" caused homosexuality. CNN's KFile dug up an old article Tshibaka wrote that suggested gay people can "work through the process of coming out of homosexuality" through JESUS! This is like how Scientologist and noted heterosexual (please don't sue us) Tom Cruise claimed women could cure their postpartum depression with vitamins.

The GOP is actively making itself more bigoted and less democratic.

From Anchorage Daily News:

"We now move forward with a united front, determined to defend Alaska from the continued onslaught of the radical Biden administration," Tshibaka said in the statement Saturday. "It is time for conservative leaders, with courage and common sense, to rise together across the nation."

Republicans really need to decide if Biden's a doddering old man or a dangerous radical. Not even the best Rolling Stones concert features both at once.

We shouldn't worry too much about Murkowski; Alaska is set to roll out a new ranked-choice voting system, which would end party primaries in the state. The four candidates who receive the most votes in an open primary would advance to the November general election. Alaska is reliably conservative, but so is Murkowski, who voted in line with Trump's agenda 72 percent of the time. However, the only "policies" Trump really pays attention to are whether Republican lawmakers protect him from the consequences of his actions.

Murkowski can probably beat the candidate who once blogged that the Twilight book and movie series "is evil and we should not read or watch it." Why, you ask? Because, Goody Tshibaka believes "entertaining and participating in these kinds of activities leaves us spiritually vulnerable. It also leaves us open to the enemy's attacks."

Tshibaka takes this Senate race so seriously she's even hired some top consultants from Trump's 2020 campaign, which in the real world failed bigtime. We wish her all the success Trump 2020 had.

[CNN / Anchorage Daily News]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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