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Remember Megan Fox, the homeschooling creationist mom who went around touring the Field Museum and the Lincoln Park Zoo being mad about how they were not teaching creationism there? In case you have blocked it out, or would like to giggle maniacally at it again, allow me to refresh your memory!

ANYWAY, we thought you should know that Megan has a new book coming out! A book called "SHUT UP!" about how one time an evil library in Orland Park, Illinois, would not let her use the computers in the kids' area, and then she went up to the adult area and saw a man watching PORN. Subsequently, Fox began a quest to take the library DOWN and started filing a shit-ton of FOIA requests against it.

In her quest to dig up dirt on the library, she found a report of an incident from 2011 in which one patron was accused by another of viewing child pornography on a library computer and saw that this was not reported to the police. The patron declined to give her information to the librarian in order to follow up, and since the library didn't have a name for the man (only a description), there clearly was not anything they could actually do unless they caught him themselves, which the report says they were unable to do. If they had called police and they did find child porn had been viewed on the computer, they probably still couldn't *prove* it was that guy unless he used a credit card to download it or some such.

Here is the smoking gun itself!

Fox cost the library about $125,000 in legal fees and filed about a bajillion FOIA requests demanding to know important information like why one board trustee was always wearing a red outfit, and if there was "anything in writing that explains why she dresses up as Mrs. Claus every month." THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW!

Of course, the mean library people just kept telling her that they couldn't put filters on the library computers because that would be a First Amendment issue, and because those filters would also "block too much legitimate information."

In "SHUT UP!" Megan tells the story of how she and her fellow citizen sleuth, very legitimate journalist Kevin DuJan -- best known for going around saying he totes saw Obama being super gay and doing all the coke at all the Boystown bath houses -- were super oppressed by evil librarians who love child porn and hate Megan Fox's First Amendment right to put filters on all the library computers.

Behold, the trailer:

This will for sure be a bestseller. Also, all librarians are whores.

[YouTube]

[Chicago Tribune]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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