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Meghan McCain Now Threatening To Run Away With Trashy Sturgis Bikers, and She Definitely Should Do This!

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Ah, Sturgis ... it's like the "Gathering of the Juggalos" for middle-aged people who saved up enough for a Gold Wing! And the $100-million McCain family just adores acting like they love this dumb populist cretin crap, because, after all, the McCains have those riches only because Cindy's dad actually worked for a living, selling Budweiser to guys with choppers, in Arizona. It's circular!


You'll recall that last year, during the presidential campaign, John McCain offered up Cindy to the drunken, leering crowd of filthy bikers. And Cindy just, well, she just looked uncomfortable as all hell, because, really, should a real-life heiress be thrown to the dogs like that, by her supposed husband? To this day, Cindy still doesn't really think anything is funny.

Anyway .... Our favorite "oh dear god is she still around?" twitterer, First Daughter, First Gang Rape by Bikers at Sturgis romance novelist Meg "McCain" McCabe, has apparently left her elderly parents' estate in Sedona and is now offering herself up to the dirtiest of the dirty Sturgis dudes. She is hoping to become some special person's "Old Lady," and by "run away with you" she might mean anything, such as "run after you crying hysterically while you noisily ride away on your motorized cycle," or "weep in the woods, surrounded by Bud cans and cigarette butts and Taco Bell wrappers, in the night."

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

[Sun-Times]

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That's right, Wonkers, while we're all up here in America dealing with the terribleness, your Editrix and her fambly are in MEXICO AT THE BEACH, where they will probably stay for a little while longer or maybe they're never coming back SHRUGGIE EMOTICON. But that's OK, they deserve some time to be AT THE BEACH in MEXICO, oh no, don't get NATIONAL EMERGY CARAVANNED!

Yeah, so it's time to count down your top ten stories of the week, like we do on Saturday mornings. Shall we? WE SHALL.

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