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Megyn Kelly Interviews Kathleen Willey About Why Hillary Clinton Murders Everyone All The Time

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Assuming that Hillary Clinton runs for President, here's a sample of what we can look forward to for the next two years: an endless Fox News rehashing of Bill Clinton's peckerdilloes and all the related weirdness that followed. And by interviewing Kathleen Willey Tuesday night on Fox, thought leader Megyn Kelly is apparently setting the tone for 2016. Willey is a real blast from the past: she's a conspiracy theorist with a long history of seemingly horrifying accusations against the Clintons that have never been substantiated. But they're pretty sensational, all right, so she was the perfect person to put the spotlight on. She led off the interview with today's rightwing Money Quote: "Hillary Clinton is the War On Women."

No need to explain exactly what that means (it means she didn't cut Bill's dick off like she should have), and don't expect any details in this meandering interview -- poor Ms. Willey is recovering from neck surgery, and so her head is a little floppy; don't be mean about it. But that line, oh that line -- it is a beautiful statement of vapid spite that will fit perfectly on a bumper sticker, right next to your Sons of the Confederacy license plate.

As Media Matters details, Willey is not exactly the most credible source in the world. Her biggest claim to fame is that she accused Bill Clinton of groping her in 1993 -- a charge that was investigated by Independent Counsel Robert Ray and found not to be credible. And if it was the only thing she ever accused Clinton of, that by itself seems at least completely probable. But we'd be a lot more inclined to be sympathetic if Willey hadn't piled on all the other weirdness that came later.

Among other things, Willey is pretty sure that the Clintons had her husband murdered in 1993, exactly like they murdered Vince Foster. Ed Willey shot himself on November 29, 1993, the same day she says Clinton groped her. Now, in sad reality, Media Matters points out, Ed Willey "owed the IRS $400,000, had stolen $275,000 from a client, and was being threatened with disbarment." If that groping actually occurred and the Clinton Mafia managed to track down Ed Willey and fake his suicide the very same day, that's got to set some kind of record for conspiratorial efficiency.

And then her claims start getting strange. Willey believes that she's been hounded over the years by a shadowy conspiracy, led by Hillary of course, that burglarized her house, killed her cat, and even sent a goon to make vague threats to her related to the cat's disappearance, because in wingnutland, pets never just go missing.

As to the interview: Honestly, we feel pretty bad for Ms. Willey, who's mostly reduced to angry rambling and to reeling off clichés. Is there a reference to "depends on what the meaning of 'is' is"? Of course there is. Is Hillary a terrible hypocrite for "enabling" her husband to have an affair, presumably by failing to install a tracking chip inserted in his neck? Does all this say a lot about the judgment of the woman who wants to have her finger on the nuclear button (which is metaphorical anyway...)? Of course it does. We get a lot of vague talking points about how Hillary is "not who she pretends to be," and of course nothing specific. The only thing missing is a pantsuit joke.

To make matters worse, Willey doesn't even seem to be able to finish a thought; not sure if that's due to recovering from surgery, or if she's just naturally incoherent. Once Willey starts talking about the burglary and the vandalism of her car, Kelly pulls the plug, notes that there's no evidence of any of that, and ends the interview.

But of course, the real point is: Hillary Clinton, bad for women, bad for America, and if we only knew about her terror campaigns against anyone who opposed the Clintons, we'd stop being such sheeple.

[Media Matters]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. If you dare.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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