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GODDAMMIT! Why don't you like me?


Not to put too fine a point on it, but who does that bitch think she is? Megyn Kelly gonna pick a fight with Jane Fonda? GIRL, PLEASE.

Back in September, Kelly asked a bunch of rude questions about all the plastic surgery the 80-year-old actress has had.

I think it’s to your credit … but you look amazing … do you … do you … have you … why did you say … I read that you said you felt … you’re not PROUD to admit you’ve had work done. Why not?

Or as Megyn put it,

Look, I gave her the chance to empower other women, young and old, on a subject which she purports to know well, and she rejected it.

Yeah, that was our response, too. Also, the rest of America who shouted in unison, WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN WRONG WITH YOU, MEGYN KELLY! It was so gross and shitty that people are still asking Fonda about it months later,

Variety: You became a meme after an interview with Megyn Kelly went viral. Would you ever go on her show again?

Fonda: Sure.

Variety: So you weren’t upset that she asked you about plastic surgery?

Fonda: No. It wasn’t like I was upset. I was stunned. It was so inappropriate. It showed that she’s not that good an interviewer. But if she comes around and learns her stuff, sure.

But in Megyn Kelly's broke brain, that means Fonda is "fixated" on her. LOL, Megyn! Literally no one is fixated on you or your dumb show, with the possible exception of Andy Lack, who is probably wondering if it would have been cheaper to flush $15 million down the toilet in NBC's executive washroom than be saddled with a morning host who bores the audience and pisses off celebrities.

You were saying, Megs,

But I have no regrets about the question. Nor am I in the market for a lesson from Jane Fonda on what is and is not appropriate. After all, this is a woman whose name is synonymous with outrage. Look at her treatment of our military during the Vietnam war, many of our veterans still call her ‘Hanoi Jane’ thanks to her radio broadcasts which attempted to shame American troops. She posed on an anti-aircraft gun used to shoot down our pilots.

So, let's see if we can parse this argument, shall we? Fonda did something arguably offensive 45 years ago in protest of an ugly, destructive war. She has repeatedly apologized in the intervening 45 years. But even at the age of 80, with a long and respectable career behind her, Fonda is still an anti-patriotic she-devil who deserves anything that comes her way. She's in that sweet spot between too terrible to appear in public, and actually worthy of being asked respectful questions. So, like, an ideal morning show guest.

MA'AM. We are just spitballing here, but maybe the issue is that ... you're just a horrible person? That you spent 13 years tossing raw meat to the angry olds at Fox and now you don't know how to talk without offending the shit out of people? FFS, your audience is made up largely of woman, and you aired a segment on the joys of getting fatshamed!

But sure, blame the feminist icon grandmother. Solid plan. That'll make them all love you and tune in to your boring-ass show!

Tune in next week to watch Megyn Kelly dropkick a puppy during the 9 o'clock hour, then defend herself by claiming that the ASPCA hates the troops. Because that's just good, American journalism.

Please money us so we can take lessons on how to win friends and influence people good like Megyn Kelly!

[Variety / Variety, again / NYPost]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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